Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 442574" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Welcome and hugs. You've come to the right place.</p><p></p><p>Last summer, my difficult child (then 19) lived here for three months. She had dropped out of college, had no job, looovvvved to sleep until noon and expected to be able to hang out on Facebook or on hercell phone all day.</p><p></p><p>She expected this because, in the two months that she'd lived with her dad after leaving college, this was what she did.</p><p></p><p>She moved in on a Saturday (and, to complicate things, I was moving BACK into my home following a house fire) and the weekend went swimmingly for her ... she helped with the moving and clean up after dinner but that was it.</p><p></p><p>On Monday, I marched into her room at 9:00 and announced it was wake up time. I told her, as long as she was not working outside this house, she would work in and around it ...eight hours a day with one hour for lunch. She could have the weekends off and, on thos days, sleep in if she wished. I handed her a list and put her to work. </p><p></p><p>She was less than thrilled, but I wasn't in the negotiaing mode. I was working more than those eight hours around here and she really had no choice. If I saw her on the computer, I kicked her off until her "break". I also said she didn't have to work around here as long as she was looking for a job. She had a job in three weeks - as it was WAY easier than the kind of work I was imosing on her here.</p><p></p><p>She now lives with her dad. She is currently unemployed, not looking for work (though she pretends), sleeps till 2 or 3 in the afternoon and dad considers it an accomplishment on his part if he leaves her a note to empty the dishwasher and he complies! He has a cleaning lady and lives in a condo with no yard maintenance. She watches Neflix all day, hangs out of FB and is l iving the life of the queen of Sheba.</p><p></p><p>They'll do what they can get away with. You will get what y ou'll tolerate. It's not easy to stick to your guns and, sometimes they still find a way around it (as in mine simply relocating to the happy house of dad), but only YOu can draw boundaries in your home. And you'll be doing him a huge favor if you do.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 442574, member: 9175"] Welcome and hugs. You've come to the right place. Last summer, my difficult child (then 19) lived here for three months. She had dropped out of college, had no job, looovvvved to sleep until noon and expected to be able to hang out on Facebook or on hercell phone all day. She expected this because, in the two months that she'd lived with her dad after leaving college, this was what she did. She moved in on a Saturday (and, to complicate things, I was moving BACK into my home following a house fire) and the weekend went swimmingly for her ... she helped with the moving and clean up after dinner but that was it. On Monday, I marched into her room at 9:00 and announced it was wake up time. I told her, as long as she was not working outside this house, she would work in and around it ...eight hours a day with one hour for lunch. She could have the weekends off and, on thos days, sleep in if she wished. I handed her a list and put her to work. She was less than thrilled, but I wasn't in the negotiaing mode. I was working more than those eight hours around here and she really had no choice. If I saw her on the computer, I kicked her off until her "break". I also said she didn't have to work around here as long as she was looking for a job. She had a job in three weeks - as it was WAY easier than the kind of work I was imosing on her here. She now lives with her dad. She is currently unemployed, not looking for work (though she pretends), sleeps till 2 or 3 in the afternoon and dad considers it an accomplishment on his part if he leaves her a note to empty the dishwasher and he complies! He has a cleaning lady and lives in a condo with no yard maintenance. She watches Neflix all day, hangs out of FB and is l iving the life of the queen of Sheba. They'll do what they can get away with. You will get what y ou'll tolerate. It's not easy to stick to your guns and, sometimes they still find a way around it (as in mine simply relocating to the happy house of dad), but only YOu can draw boundaries in your home. And you'll be doing him a huge favor if you do. Dash [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
Top