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General Parenting
I dont know what to do anymore.
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 580472" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p>I'm glad you found us, and I'm so sorry you are going through all this with your son.</p><p></p><p>Without knowing all the back story and details, I think you are seriously trying to help him without enabling him. However, if he continues to use drugs and miss his Job Seekers appointments, he will end up without resources and will plead with you to take him back.</p><p></p><p>He needs help to get off drugs - has he asked for that help? He spent money which belonged to you, and I can only guess what he spent it on! You and your husband have health issues that will need all your strength and attention. I don't know if you have other children in your home that you are also responsible for as well. You and your husband will need to decide how much or how little you are willing to do for your son, but as long as you support him, if he doesn't have to straighten up, he won't. Of course you know you have to set boundaries, but I agree it's hard when you have children that you are concerned about.</p><p></p><p>The last line in your post says it all: "Does it ever get any better, or is this as good as it's ever going to get?" I guess that is up to you and your husband. Supporting them while they're trying to get clean and sober is wonderful if you're able, but anything that enables substance abuse will never make anything better for you...just for your son, and only temporarily. The hardest part of being a parent is being consistent and loving without enabling. Please also value yourself, your emotional well being, and your health, as well as that of your husband. Remember your home is your sanctuary.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome, and I hope you come back and visit with us. Stay strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 580472, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, I'm glad you found us, and I'm so sorry you are going through all this with your son. Without knowing all the back story and details, I think you are seriously trying to help him without enabling him. However, if he continues to use drugs and miss his Job Seekers appointments, he will end up without resources and will plead with you to take him back. He needs help to get off drugs - has he asked for that help? He spent money which belonged to you, and I can only guess what he spent it on! You and your husband have health issues that will need all your strength and attention. I don't know if you have other children in your home that you are also responsible for as well. You and your husband will need to decide how much or how little you are willing to do for your son, but as long as you support him, if he doesn't have to straighten up, he won't. Of course you know you have to set boundaries, but I agree it's hard when you have children that you are concerned about. The last line in your post says it all: "Does it ever get any better, or is this as good as it's ever going to get?" I guess that is up to you and your husband. Supporting them while they're trying to get clean and sober is wonderful if you're able, but anything that enables substance abuse will never make anything better for you...just for your son, and only temporarily. The hardest part of being a parent is being consistent and loving without enabling. Please also value yourself, your emotional well being, and your health, as well as that of your husband. Remember your home is your sanctuary. Again, welcome, and I hope you come back and visit with us. Stay strong. [/QUOTE]
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