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Parent Emeritus
I don't know what to say when I see him
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 612839" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Echolette, please don't worry about "burning out your welcome". The purpose of this board is support. You post all you need to post, that is what we're here for. </p><p></p><p>I need to update myself on your other posts. I put in 50 hrs this week nightshift and don't get to read as much as I used to. </p><p></p><p>Just from this post alone, I think you handled it beautifully. You didn't ignore him, didn't criticize him or his decisions, didn't try to rescue him, and left the door open for him to feel welcome to approach you, even just casually. </p><p></p><p>It is both frustrating and maddening to watch our children make stupid decisions that can place them into harms way when in our eyes "they should know better". It is so hard to watch them take the hard way, sometimes the self destructive way, knowing we can't do anything to stop the train wreck that may be the end result. It makes us angry that they can't see how much their actions are causing us pain. </p><p></p><p>For now?? I'd keep the small talk, catching him up on family news. I'd be glad to run into him, regardless of his appearance/body odor.......because the opposite, if you were to stop seeing him (having some knowledge he is alive and well) would likely overwhelm you with worry and fear. </p><p></p><p>Your emotions are normal. Find ways to express them instead of stuffing them and having a major explosive moment with difficult child you'll later regret. Come here and vent to your heart's content, find a therapist or friend and talk their ear off, keep a journal. Something. So that when you run into difficult child you can be grateful to see he is ok, make small talk, and keep those lines of communication open. </p><p></p><p>Katie spent much of her adult life homeless. So I understand how you're feeling. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 612839, member: 84"] Echolette, please don't worry about "burning out your welcome". The purpose of this board is support. You post all you need to post, that is what we're here for. I need to update myself on your other posts. I put in 50 hrs this week nightshift and don't get to read as much as I used to. Just from this post alone, I think you handled it beautifully. You didn't ignore him, didn't criticize him or his decisions, didn't try to rescue him, and left the door open for him to feel welcome to approach you, even just casually. It is both frustrating and maddening to watch our children make stupid decisions that can place them into harms way when in our eyes "they should know better". It is so hard to watch them take the hard way, sometimes the self destructive way, knowing we can't do anything to stop the train wreck that may be the end result. It makes us angry that they can't see how much their actions are causing us pain. For now?? I'd keep the small talk, catching him up on family news. I'd be glad to run into him, regardless of his appearance/body odor.......because the opposite, if you were to stop seeing him (having some knowledge he is alive and well) would likely overwhelm you with worry and fear. Your emotions are normal. Find ways to express them instead of stuffing them and having a major explosive moment with difficult child you'll later regret. Come here and vent to your heart's content, find a therapist or friend and talk their ear off, keep a journal. Something. So that when you run into difficult child you can be grateful to see he is ok, make small talk, and keep those lines of communication open. Katie spent much of her adult life homeless. So I understand how you're feeling. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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I don't know what to say when I see him
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