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I don't know what to say when I see him
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 612874" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>His being 19 and on the streets, this is probably the right place for you. I haven't a clue what to say to my son either. I'm more happy to deal with him in the abstract. For example, I know that he is now working - <em>finally -</em> and has a beater of a car. He called me a month or so back and told me that he was thinking of quitting his job and going to school through Vocational Rehab. We both have Muscular Dystrophy, but he is on SSI due to emotional problems. He is working as a Security Guard, which I had told him previously would be too physically taxing. He asked me what I thought. I told him that he now has responsibilities; he can't get into school until next term; he should keep working as a Security Guard and if he can get into school then he can maybe get a shift or two a week to supplement that. After all, I reminded him, I worked as a grocery cashier for 8 years and was in great pain every day but I had a family to support and I got decent pay and health insurance. He hmmed and hawed, and I didn't hear from him for a few weeks.</p><p></p><p>I had husband call him last week, and he still is working as a Security Guard, I have no clue about school. He still has his car. I'm considering having our old mechanic put some decent tires on his car and getting him a AAA membership. I feel good about being able to consider this. It's the first time in <em>literally</em> decades that I have thought that I could get him a gift that he would really appreciate and need and I would enjoy giving to him. I don't have to send him a money order for $100 and say "he'll do what he'll do, I hope it's not a video game."</p><p></p><p>I don't know what your future holds with your son. I'm sorry you have to run into him on the street in such circumstances. That would have kill me at one time. He's doing what he will do, and it has nothing to do with you any more. I personally would have a hard time not ignoring him, but I'm not very good at looking past the hurt. I wish I was different, but I'm not. </p><p></p><p>FWIW, I started on the "General" board 11 years ago when M first left home. I haven't posted there but once in 7 - 8 years. M is grown, and I have nothing to say about school or teachers or treatment centers. M is out of our home and we've moved to the other end of the country. husband and I are alone and happy. I can't subject myself to the drama that goes with the childhood/adolescence of a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I hope we will see more of you here in PE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 612874, member: 99"] His being 19 and on the streets, this is probably the right place for you. I haven't a clue what to say to my son either. I'm more happy to deal with him in the abstract. For example, I know that he is now working - [I]finally -[/I] and has a beater of a car. He called me a month or so back and told me that he was thinking of quitting his job and going to school through Vocational Rehab. We both have Muscular Dystrophy, but he is on SSI due to emotional problems. He is working as a Security Guard, which I had told him previously would be too physically taxing. He asked me what I thought. I told him that he now has responsibilities; he can't get into school until next term; he should keep working as a Security Guard and if he can get into school then he can maybe get a shift or two a week to supplement that. After all, I reminded him, I worked as a grocery cashier for 8 years and was in great pain every day but I had a family to support and I got decent pay and health insurance. He hmmed and hawed, and I didn't hear from him for a few weeks. I had husband call him last week, and he still is working as a Security Guard, I have no clue about school. He still has his car. I'm considering having our old mechanic put some decent tires on his car and getting him a AAA membership. I feel good about being able to consider this. It's the first time in [I]literally[/I] decades that I have thought that I could get him a gift that he would really appreciate and need and I would enjoy giving to him. I don't have to send him a money order for $100 and say "he'll do what he'll do, I hope it's not a video game." I don't know what your future holds with your son. I'm sorry you have to run into him on the street in such circumstances. That would have kill me at one time. He's doing what he will do, and it has nothing to do with you any more. I personally would have a hard time not ignoring him, but I'm not very good at looking past the hurt. I wish I was different, but I'm not. FWIW, I started on the "General" board 11 years ago when M first left home. I haven't posted there but once in 7 - 8 years. M is grown, and I have nothing to say about school or teachers or treatment centers. M is out of our home and we've moved to the other end of the country. husband and I are alone and happy. I can't subject myself to the drama that goes with the childhood/adolescence of a difficult child. I hope we will see more of you here in PE. [/QUOTE]
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