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If he is bipolar, the right medications could make a HUGE difference in his behavior.  Is there a psychiatrist managing his medications right now?  Get him in to a good psychiatrist.  He needs a mood stabilizer.  I do not think life will get much better for him or for your family unless his bipolar is treated with the correct medication.  So sorry you are going through all of this!  I hope you have a way to relax and take care of yourself.