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I feel bad and guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 314805" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>thank you! Yep- getting therapist to see that I DO let difficult child know clear and appropriate expectations and he does get rewards and consequences but there is a deeper problem is the issue for this week. We have another session Friday morning so we will see then. I just hope that being a Department of Juvenile Justice therapist, she isn't in a role where all she's going to address is a behavior contract for his return home. It will help a lot, I think, if difficult child finally says something about his relationships with other kids in front of her. He actually flat-out told me last year that "it was easier for him to complain about me being strict than to tell others how he doesn't have any real friends". Ok, typical teen in a way; difficult child in how he handles it.</p><p></p><p>He did the same thing with his last private therapist. I think he learned some of this from my mother and bro who blame everything on me. You should have seen the look on the last therapist's face when I said "did difficult child tell you how much he's cutting himself; that he cries many nights and says he can't stand his life; that he doesn't want to live anymore?" And therapist said "NO"!</p><p></p><p>And yes, I really do want him to come home right away- I just think he and everyone else needs to get to the root of the problem first and I didn't think he would do that if he thought he could just get therapist and me to agree that I needed to give him more privileges and the problems would be solved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 314805, member: 3699"] thank you! Yep- getting therapist to see that I DO let difficult child know clear and appropriate expectations and he does get rewards and consequences but there is a deeper problem is the issue for this week. We have another session Friday morning so we will see then. I just hope that being a Department of Juvenile Justice therapist, she isn't in a role where all she's going to address is a behavior contract for his return home. It will help a lot, I think, if difficult child finally says something about his relationships with other kids in front of her. He actually flat-out told me last year that "it was easier for him to complain about me being strict than to tell others how he doesn't have any real friends". Ok, typical teen in a way; difficult child in how he handles it. He did the same thing with his last private therapist. I think he learned some of this from my mother and bro who blame everything on me. You should have seen the look on the last therapist's face when I said "did difficult child tell you how much he's cutting himself; that he cries many nights and says he can't stand his life; that he doesn't want to live anymore?" And therapist said "NO"! And yes, I really do want him to come home right away- I just think he and everyone else needs to get to the root of the problem first and I didn't think he would do that if he thought he could just get therapist and me to agree that I needed to give him more privileges and the problems would be solved. [/QUOTE]
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