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I feel bad and guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 314889" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Honestly, I would try to hold off on any future discussions like that one.. and tell difficult child that since you're both in such conflict on this issue, you'd like to discuss it in therapy. Then place a call to the therapist and tell her about the discussion, and ask that she help facilitate a discussion about it in your next visit. That's what she's there for. </p><p></p><p>On behavior contracts, I found that it extremely helpful when Youngest and I agreed on one with her therapist.. although admittedly the "contract" in place when she was unstable, was different than other times. It was helpful even in a time of crisis, to have a clear-cut plan of what I would do when certain behaviors occurred... especially calling 911 whenever there were self-harm threats or violent outbursts. She had to know I would take those seriously, and putting those in the contract made it crystal clear. Things like curfews, phone time and computer time, were for more stable periods. I found that it was a dynamic thing... and the therapist worked weekly with us to tweak it as cycles came and went. It was a tool amongst many others in helping Youngest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 314889, member: 1157"] Honestly, I would try to hold off on any future discussions like that one.. and tell difficult child that since you're both in such conflict on this issue, you'd like to discuss it in therapy. Then place a call to the therapist and tell her about the discussion, and ask that she help facilitate a discussion about it in your next visit. That's what she's there for. On behavior contracts, I found that it extremely helpful when Youngest and I agreed on one with her therapist.. although admittedly the "contract" in place when she was unstable, was different than other times. It was helpful even in a time of crisis, to have a clear-cut plan of what I would do when certain behaviors occurred... especially calling 911 whenever there were self-harm threats or violent outbursts. She had to know I would take those seriously, and putting those in the contract made it crystal clear. Things like curfews, phone time and computer time, were for more stable periods. I found that it was a dynamic thing... and the therapist worked weekly with us to tweak it as cycles came and went. It was a tool amongst many others in helping Youngest. [/QUOTE]
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