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I Feel Like a Loser
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<blockquote data-quote="Mechdonna2" data-source="post: 600097" data-attributes="member: 16068"><p>I have shared my story with some people lately. Nearly everyone I talk to about my son's situation has a similar story in their family. </p><p></p><p>My mother said that I should give my son a letter explaining why we have detached. I wrote that I loved him too much to watch him self-destruct. I handed him the letter and he tore it up without reading it. My mother called him on the phone and told him the same thing.</p><p></p><p>He has always been close with his grandmother. She and my father spent much time with him while he was growing up. He told her that he is drinking an occasional beer, and he and his girlfriend are smoking cigars in the garage. Of course, he is really drinking many, many beers and smoking spice and marijuana.</p><p></p><p>My mother made me feel bad about the letter. When my difficult child saw the letter, he acted happy about it. Without thinking clearly, I told him that he would not like the letter, and he tore it up. Now my mother is blaming me that I should not have told him that he would not like the letter. I can't win for losing. I did not get upset with her. She is 85-years-old, and I always give her plenty of slack. I explained to her that even if I mailed a copy of the letter every day for several weeks, he would not read it. Even if he read it, it would not change his behavior.</p><p></p><p>Now we are back to no communication. He has to leave my friend's home soon. He and his girlfriend are using drugs in her garage. My friend is very co-dependent and she is dragging her feet about making them leave. She has allowed her 23-year-old healthy niece to move in, also. I told her that she cannot have difficult child and his girlfriend in the home with the niece. I told her that was my advice, of course she has to do what she thinks is right. The niece's mother is very protective and the niece's boyfriend very jealous of other males.</p><p></p><p>Although my difficult child is 36, he may has well be 18 years old.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mechdonna2, post: 600097, member: 16068"] I have shared my story with some people lately. Nearly everyone I talk to about my son's situation has a similar story in their family. My mother said that I should give my son a letter explaining why we have detached. I wrote that I loved him too much to watch him self-destruct. I handed him the letter and he tore it up without reading it. My mother called him on the phone and told him the same thing. He has always been close with his grandmother. She and my father spent much time with him while he was growing up. He told her that he is drinking an occasional beer, and he and his girlfriend are smoking cigars in the garage. Of course, he is really drinking many, many beers and smoking spice and marijuana. My mother made me feel bad about the letter. When my difficult child saw the letter, he acted happy about it. Without thinking clearly, I told him that he would not like the letter, and he tore it up. Now my mother is blaming me that I should not have told him that he would not like the letter. I can't win for losing. I did not get upset with her. She is 85-years-old, and I always give her plenty of slack. I explained to her that even if I mailed a copy of the letter every day for several weeks, he would not read it. Even if he read it, it would not change his behavior. Now we are back to no communication. He has to leave my friend's home soon. He and his girlfriend are using drugs in her garage. My friend is very co-dependent and she is dragging her feet about making them leave. She has allowed her 23-year-old healthy niece to move in, also. I told her that she cannot have difficult child and his girlfriend in the home with the niece. I told her that was my advice, of course she has to do what she thinks is right. The niece's mother is very protective and the niece's boyfriend very jealous of other males. Although my difficult child is 36, he may has well be 18 years old. [/QUOTE]
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