Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I feel so alone
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="OnThinIce" data-source="post: 612528" data-attributes="member: 17263"><p>Hi, thanks for the replies. To add a few things - I mistyped when I referred to another son. I only have the one. After him, there was no way I would consider attempting another. My fiance does have a son - who is 15 now. He's with us every other weekend. He is a model child - straight A student, musician, Select Soccer, you name it. My son hates him. </p><p></p><p>I feel compelled to say a few things about my son's sexual issues. I realize that this makes me sound even more codependent, but it is important to me that I cling to one shred of hope, that my son is not a lifeline sexual predator. It is a very common misconception that people who sexually abuse others are not able to be rehabilitated, that they are extremely likely to reoffend. This is true for adult sex offenders, it is NOT true for child sex offenders. In fact, the recidivism rate for juvenile sex offenders is only about 10%. The reasons why children sexually offend against other children and why adults do it are generally NOT the same. Adolescennts who do it usually fit the profile of my son - behavioral issues, no friends or social life, they have been offended against themselves, and SIMPLY because they have access to children and not other adolescents their own age to experiment sexually with. Adults who sexually offend have the ability to have consensual relationships with other adults, but choose to prey on children because of a psychological disorder called pedophilia. You cannot use the term pedophile to refer to an adolescent or child. Sadly, it does not change the laws which treat juvenile sex offenders the same as adult sex offenders - it is an unsealable crime, and he has to register as a sex offender like any adult. My son has been through years of therapy and has NOT reoffended (yet). He has a chance I think when he is 19 or 20, unless the laws change, to petition the court to have his records sealed and his registration requirement removed, IF he has no further legal issues. </p><p></p><p>I feel the need to post the above because there are such extreme reactions when you say "sex offender" that are almost always similar to what "Midwest Mom" posted above, and a general feeling that he is not redeemable. After hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on my son's rehabilitation, I have to believe right now that at least that part of his issues have been resolved. It's entirely possible he will be one of the 10% and become an adult sex offender, but I'm trying not to go down that thought process yet, as there are no signs that he is going there. Right now, it is purely behavioral problems. </p><p></p><p>I also do not think my son has ADD. He was on medications for several years - during which we tried several of them, different doses, etc. I can't even remember them all - Vyvanse was one, several others. He's not on any medications now, he was on Tenex for awhile, and probably needs to be back on it, although I really haven't noticed a change - he was still acting out behaviorally when he was on it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OnThinIce, post: 612528, member: 17263"] Hi, thanks for the replies. To add a few things - I mistyped when I referred to another son. I only have the one. After him, there was no way I would consider attempting another. My fiance does have a son - who is 15 now. He's with us every other weekend. He is a model child - straight A student, musician, Select Soccer, you name it. My son hates him. I feel compelled to say a few things about my son's sexual issues. I realize that this makes me sound even more codependent, but it is important to me that I cling to one shred of hope, that my son is not a lifeline sexual predator. It is a very common misconception that people who sexually abuse others are not able to be rehabilitated, that they are extremely likely to reoffend. This is true for adult sex offenders, it is NOT true for child sex offenders. In fact, the recidivism rate for juvenile sex offenders is only about 10%. The reasons why children sexually offend against other children and why adults do it are generally NOT the same. Adolescennts who do it usually fit the profile of my son - behavioral issues, no friends or social life, they have been offended against themselves, and SIMPLY because they have access to children and not other adolescents their own age to experiment sexually with. Adults who sexually offend have the ability to have consensual relationships with other adults, but choose to prey on children because of a psychological disorder called pedophilia. You cannot use the term pedophile to refer to an adolescent or child. Sadly, it does not change the laws which treat juvenile sex offenders the same as adult sex offenders - it is an unsealable crime, and he has to register as a sex offender like any adult. My son has been through years of therapy and has NOT reoffended (yet). He has a chance I think when he is 19 or 20, unless the laws change, to petition the court to have his records sealed and his registration requirement removed, IF he has no further legal issues. I feel the need to post the above because there are such extreme reactions when you say "sex offender" that are almost always similar to what "Midwest Mom" posted above, and a general feeling that he is not redeemable. After hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on my son's rehabilitation, I have to believe right now that at least that part of his issues have been resolved. It's entirely possible he will be one of the 10% and become an adult sex offender, but I'm trying not to go down that thought process yet, as there are no signs that he is going there. Right now, it is purely behavioral problems. I also do not think my son has ADD. He was on medications for several years - during which we tried several of them, different doses, etc. I can't even remember them all - Vyvanse was one, several others. He's not on any medications now, he was on Tenex for awhile, and probably needs to be back on it, although I really haven't noticed a change - he was still acting out behaviorally when he was on it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I feel so alone
Top