Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I feel so, so weak
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 679738" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Yes Rebel, we are. No worries about us giving up on you. We are here for you through good, bad, kind of bad, great, not so good, etc....</p><p></p><p>I have been where you are, teetering on "that's it, I've had it" to "I'll just do this one thing for him"</p><p>The good thing Rebel is you are aware that you need to stop enabling your son and that is a bigger deal than you might be giving yourself credit for.</p><p></p><p>All the worry you went through these last few days was for nothing as your son turned up ok and 9 times out of 10 that will be the case. You are hyper sensitive because of the one time he needed surgery. Going forward try and hold onto the fact that what he doing is typical behavior. Our d_cs at times will appear to have fallen off the face of the planet when in reality they are okay or as okay as they can be for the choices they are making.</p><p></p><p>It's easy to allow our minds to catastrophize and think of all the horrible things that could happen. The only way I was able to move on from doing this was to accept the fact that yes, the worst could happen and for me that was that he could die and I would never know it. You see Rebel, I had to accept that I had no control over the outcome of my son's poor choices. I had to let go, I had to start working through the grieving process. I grieved for the son I used to have, I grieved for the relationship that I was not going to be able to have with my son. I truly had to let go.</p><p></p><p>It's not an easy thing to do, to let go but in order to move on with our own lives it's something we have to do and it takes time.</p><p></p><p>It's just so hard to believe that our children can discard us so easily. The are off partying, doing what they do and they don't give one thought about us until of course they need something from us, usually money, and this is where the manipulation starts. They are counting on our emotions to be raw so they can guilt us into giving into them. They use our love and concern for them against us.</p><p></p><p>I know how much you want your son to live his life in a more responsible manner. I want the same for my son too. They are going to live their lives the way they want to. We can tell them everyday what they need to do, what they should do, but it will fall on deaf ears.</p><p>I appreciate that you wanted your son to pay his ticket and to get his phone fixed. It was very thoughtful of you to put money in his account. Your son has shown you that he is not interested in your advice, this is clear in the fact he spent the money you gave him on food and booze.</p><p></p><p>Rebel, I am so sorry you are having to endure this kind of heartbreak.</p><p></p><p>Stay close to us here, we are always here for you.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 679738, member: 18516"] Yes Rebel, we are. No worries about us giving up on you. We are here for you through good, bad, kind of bad, great, not so good, etc.... I have been where you are, teetering on "that's it, I've had it" to "I'll just do this one thing for him" The good thing Rebel is you are aware that you need to stop enabling your son and that is a bigger deal than you might be giving yourself credit for. All the worry you went through these last few days was for nothing as your son turned up ok and 9 times out of 10 that will be the case. You are hyper sensitive because of the one time he needed surgery. Going forward try and hold onto the fact that what he doing is typical behavior. Our d_cs at times will appear to have fallen off the face of the planet when in reality they are okay or as okay as they can be for the choices they are making. It's easy to allow our minds to catastrophize and think of all the horrible things that could happen. The only way I was able to move on from doing this was to accept the fact that yes, the worst could happen and for me that was that he could die and I would never know it. You see Rebel, I had to accept that I had no control over the outcome of my son's poor choices. I had to let go, I had to start working through the grieving process. I grieved for the son I used to have, I grieved for the relationship that I was not going to be able to have with my son. I truly had to let go. It's not an easy thing to do, to let go but in order to move on with our own lives it's something we have to do and it takes time. It's just so hard to believe that our children can discard us so easily. The are off partying, doing what they do and they don't give one thought about us until of course they need something from us, usually money, and this is where the manipulation starts. They are counting on our emotions to be raw so they can guilt us into giving into them. They use our love and concern for them against us. I know how much you want your son to live his life in a more responsible manner. I want the same for my son too. They are going to live their lives the way they want to. We can tell them everyday what they need to do, what they should do, but it will fall on deaf ears. I appreciate that you wanted your son to pay his ticket and to get his phone fixed. It was very thoughtful of you to put money in his account. Your son has shown you that he is not interested in your advice, this is clear in the fact he spent the money you gave him on food and booze. Rebel, I am so sorry you are having to endure this kind of heartbreak. Stay close to us here, we are always here for you. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I feel so, so weak
Top