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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 745239" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>Your situation is worse than mine in some ways, and much better in others. When I was 1 and 1/2 years into my relationship with my husband (boyfriend at the time) having my son living with me was making me feel on the verge of a breakdown and his behavior was literally making me sick (gastro problems that seemed to be triggered by my anxiety and stress). My boyfriend, who did not live with me at the time, was my shield and escape but felt caught between me and my son. Two or three times he broke up with me and I was at a point where I had to choose between an ungrateful, disrespectful, and often abusive son that I loved very much and a wonderful man that I loved and who loved me equally in return. The last straw was when he had a stroke triggered by stress and was hospitalized for a solid month. The weren't sure at first if he would even survive. While he was in the hospital and then recuperating at his brother's house I had to make the hardest of decisions. My son had to go. That was maybe 7 or 8 years ago and although I love my son dearly, to this day if push comes to shove, I will always put my husband ahead of my son. </p><p></p><p>Your son seems to love you and care about you and is a hard worker, none of which are my son's strong suits. That must make your situation even harder. But at the end of the day, he should find a way to take care of himself as an independent adult while you help from the sidelines. As others have said, what will he do when you're gone? Can you make your son understand how much your relationship with your boyfriend means to you and that if he is willing to come back you need to work on solutions where they can get along or at least peacefully coexist for your sake? You need companionship and friendship and support at your own level, not just from your son. I hope and pray you can rekindle your relationship with your boyfriend, because it sounds like you need him as much as your son needs you. God bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 745239, member: 22877"] Your situation is worse than mine in some ways, and much better in others. When I was 1 and 1/2 years into my relationship with my husband (boyfriend at the time) having my son living with me was making me feel on the verge of a breakdown and his behavior was literally making me sick (gastro problems that seemed to be triggered by my anxiety and stress). My boyfriend, who did not live with me at the time, was my shield and escape but felt caught between me and my son. Two or three times he broke up with me and I was at a point where I had to choose between an ungrateful, disrespectful, and often abusive son that I loved very much and a wonderful man that I loved and who loved me equally in return. The last straw was when he had a stroke triggered by stress and was hospitalized for a solid month. The weren't sure at first if he would even survive. While he was in the hospital and then recuperating at his brother's house I had to make the hardest of decisions. My son had to go. That was maybe 7 or 8 years ago and although I love my son dearly, to this day if push comes to shove, I will always put my husband ahead of my son. Your son seems to love you and care about you and is a hard worker, none of which are my son's strong suits. That must make your situation even harder. But at the end of the day, he should find a way to take care of himself as an independent adult while you help from the sidelines. As others have said, what will he do when you're gone? Can you make your son understand how much your relationship with your boyfriend means to you and that if he is willing to come back you need to work on solutions where they can get along or at least peacefully coexist for your sake? You need companionship and friendship and support at your own level, not just from your son. I hope and pray you can rekindle your relationship with your boyfriend, because it sounds like you need him as much as your son needs you. God bless. [/QUOTE]
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