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I feel totally hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="footballersmum" data-source="post: 389926"><p><span style="font-size: 10px">I'm really normally positive and although my son drives me to tears at times, I have always managed. I have 3 kids, my teenage son has ADHD and is on the autistic spectrum. I feel so sad - I really want him to pass high school so that he can go on to do what HE wants (programming), earn some money and feel good about himself. <span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">I tutor him daily (I am an ex-teacher so can help him) although he doesnt want it even though hes failing at school, he feels he s OK and is sulky, aggressive and rude when I try and help him. He's in year 3 now (he's nearly 15) and he's failing this year already. He doesn't want me to help him and is defiant, rude and hurtful, he says he knows his subjects (he has an over-rosy view of his abilities - although his marks say otherwise and he doesn't like to work!) and doesn't need me causing him grief. Now forget all his difficult behaviour at school and everything else - it is THIS which is killing me inside. The dilemma is if I let him fail - my fear is that he won't get basic education, that he'll give up on his dreams and become depressed. If I keep on forcing him - my fear is he'll fight me all the way and still fail to spite me and will cause a lot of distress along the way. Am I being controlling? I only want him to pass high school, then he can do whatever he wants - as long as he's happy. I think I'm frightened of him not being happy - I've seen him depressed and confused, threatening to throw himself out of his bedroom window and I never want him to be in that place mentally again. I don't want to 'give up' on him but I don't want to do the wrong thing either.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Please help if you can. Thankyou<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite5" alt=":confused:" title="Confused :confused:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":confused:" /></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="footballersmum, post: 389926"] [SIZE=2]I'm really normally positive and although my son drives me to tears at times, I have always managed. I have 3 kids, my teenage son has ADHD and is on the autistic spectrum. I feel so sad - I really want him to pass high school so that he can go on to do what HE wants (programming), earn some money and feel good about himself. [FONT=Calibri]I tutor him daily (I am an ex-teacher so can help him) although he doesnt want it even though hes failing at school, he feels he s OK and is sulky, aggressive and rude when I try and help him. He's in year 3 now (he's nearly 15) and he's failing this year already. He doesn't want me to help him and is defiant, rude and hurtful, he says he knows his subjects (he has an over-rosy view of his abilities - although his marks say otherwise and he doesn't like to work!) and doesn't need me causing him grief. Now forget all his difficult behaviour at school and everything else - it is THIS which is killing me inside. The dilemma is if I let him fail - my fear is that he won't get basic education, that he'll give up on his dreams and become depressed. If I keep on forcing him - my fear is he'll fight me all the way and still fail to spite me and will cause a lot of distress along the way. Am I being controlling? I only want him to pass high school, then he can do whatever he wants - as long as he's happy. I think I'm frightened of him not being happy - I've seen him depressed and confused, threatening to throw himself out of his bedroom window and I never want him to be in that place mentally again. I don't want to 'give up' on him but I don't want to do the wrong thing either.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Calibri]Please help if you can. Thankyou:confused1:[/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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