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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619270" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Wow. That is often how it happens WF, a giant upset we cannot ignore, we cannot hide from, we cannot deny, our stories are similar in that way..................and it ushers in the next phase. I am glad you feel free and good about it.</p><p></p><p>Just to be cautious, if he has keys you need to change the locks. You may need to get a restraining order as he wakes up to the reality and begins the serious work of blaming YOU. Often when reality sets in with them, the big guns come out............prepare yourself for the upping of the ante, or meanness, threats, manipulations of all kinds, pleading, begging, suicide threats, anything, anything at all to make you tow the line and return to the fold. Don't do it. He has now crossed the line into violence and abuse and that changes the playing field absolutely.</p><p></p><p>You did a good job. I so know the exact feelings you were going through as he was packing. I have been in those very shoes myself. It feels weird, and freeing and scary and oh so good and oh so strange...............but, as all our difficult child's do, they somehow land on their feet in ways you and I can't imagine. And, he has a car, a built in place to sleep.</p><p></p><p>If you are paying for car insurance, you may want to change that. Get yourself out of any and all liability. Look at what you pay for for him, and unload it little by little or all at once, however it works for you. If that is your car, get your name off of it. </p><p></p><p>Your timing was perfect to show up here when you did. I am a believer in destiny and yours was to be here when this happened so you could get the support you needed to do what is necessary. I think many of us get here exactly when we need it. Good for you! And, oddly, good for your difficult child too, I look at it like he is now free too, he is now free to stop his 'act' and get on with the business of living his life............or not..................that is the choice all of us have with the life we've been granted............live it, love it, cherish it or dump it............we all get to make that choice. Even if he is depressed, mentally ill, on drugs, has a conduct disorder, or is a sociopath................he can make a life of his own. Look at MWM, she's gone through hell and back with her own issues and then her kids issues and she's thriving!! It's ALL up to him now. </p><p></p><p>Sending you big hugs and warm wishes for your continued peace............you deserve that, your little one deserves that..................I am proud of you.............good job.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619270, member: 13542"] Wow. That is often how it happens WF, a giant upset we cannot ignore, we cannot hide from, we cannot deny, our stories are similar in that way..................and it ushers in the next phase. I am glad you feel free and good about it. Just to be cautious, if he has keys you need to change the locks. You may need to get a restraining order as he wakes up to the reality and begins the serious work of blaming YOU. Often when reality sets in with them, the big guns come out............prepare yourself for the upping of the ante, or meanness, threats, manipulations of all kinds, pleading, begging, suicide threats, anything, anything at all to make you tow the line and return to the fold. Don't do it. He has now crossed the line into violence and abuse and that changes the playing field absolutely. You did a good job. I so know the exact feelings you were going through as he was packing. I have been in those very shoes myself. It feels weird, and freeing and scary and oh so good and oh so strange...............but, as all our difficult child's do, they somehow land on their feet in ways you and I can't imagine. And, he has a car, a built in place to sleep. If you are paying for car insurance, you may want to change that. Get yourself out of any and all liability. Look at what you pay for for him, and unload it little by little or all at once, however it works for you. If that is your car, get your name off of it. Your timing was perfect to show up here when you did. I am a believer in destiny and yours was to be here when this happened so you could get the support you needed to do what is necessary. I think many of us get here exactly when we need it. Good for you! And, oddly, good for your difficult child too, I look at it like he is now free too, he is now free to stop his 'act' and get on with the business of living his life............or not..................that is the choice all of us have with the life we've been granted............live it, love it, cherish it or dump it............we all get to make that choice. Even if he is depressed, mentally ill, on drugs, has a conduct disorder, or is a sociopath................he can make a life of his own. Look at MWM, she's gone through hell and back with her own issues and then her kids issues and she's thriving!! It's ALL up to him now. Sending you big hugs and warm wishes for your continued peace............you deserve that, your little one deserves that..................I am proud of you.............good job. [/QUOTE]
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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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