Renee,
I agree with Jo - There is ABSOLUTELY no reason to hate yourself or to feel guilty. I agree with everyone who said that the rules you made are reasonable and fair. They are very straightforward.
Some of the others suggested that if it is too difficult for your difficult children to obey all of the rules right away, you might start with the one you feel is most important and add the others in gradually. If your difficult children aren't used to living by rules, the change might be very difficult for them all at once.
I think that consistency is one of the most important elements needed to keep a household with difficult children running smoothly. If difficult children know what to expect, know the consequences for not following the rules, and know what the rewards are for obeying them, life will get easier. It takes time.
Although consistency is hard for you, in my humble opinion, you need to make it a top priority. At first your difficult children will test their limits to see how much bad behavior you'll tolerate before you "cave" in. BE STRONG!!! Don't "cave" in. Things will probably get worse before they get better. Remember, your difficult children aren't used to consistency. By their very nature, they'll push you to your absolute limits because it has worked for them in the past. Once they realize you will not "cave" in, their behavior will improve. It happened in my house. And, I know it can happen in your house too.
Hang in there. Let us know how things are going. I'll be thinking about you. WFEN
P.S. I love Meowbunny's idea about having a "rule free day" every once in a while. It takes the pressure off and gives everyone a chance to relax a bit.
