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Parent Emeritus
I give up. It hurts too much to hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662015" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I just got off the phone with Social Security and there are no easy answers. They absolutely will not consider intervening. He must request a payee directly.</p><p></p><p>He already did request a payee earlier this year. We went to a local SS office and he requested affirmatively that I be his payee.</p><p></p><p>The supervisor decided unilaterally not to honor his request. I doubt at this point he will go in to request this again.</p><p></p><p>I believe he will oppose me if I request guardianship. He is so articulate and persuasive that when he was last 5150'd he was able to convince the Administrative Law Judge to release him. And that was with professional staff arguing against him.</p><p></p><p>This is very hard for me.</p><p></p><p>There is his life to consider. Whether he lives or dies. His safety. His health.</p><p></p><p>His potential to mature. </p><p></p><p>How an adversarial court proceeding would affect our relationship. </p><p></p><p>How my taking a stand against his potential and his capacity would affect him, would affect me.</p><p></p><p>He depends upon our relationship. I do not want to risk destroying the integrity of that. </p><p></p><p>How it will affect me if I do not do whatever I can to protect him. There is a plus and and minus to this, however. By protecting him, I limit him.</p><p></p><p>The Social Security Rep brought up the possibility of his returning home to live with me if I was so concerned. I thought about it a second.</p><p></p><p>As horrible as it felt, I heard myself responding, maybe that is the only solution.</p><p></p><p>I will speak with M. I think what I might do is to ask my son if he will consent to an evaluation by a psychiatrist to assess his competency and need for a guardian, his realistic ability to continue to manage his affairs and his life. And go from there.</p><p></p><p>I will speak with M when he gets home. There is so much to consider.</p><p></p><p>I am still very sad but <strong><u>I am no longer attacking myself</u></strong>. That is a very big thing. I felt very alone when I woke up. I no longer feel alone as I write this.</p><p></p><p>I am grateful to you all beyond words. I have many, many words as you all know. To say that my gratitude exceeds their number is to say a lot.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662015, member: 18958"] I just got off the phone with Social Security and there are no easy answers. They absolutely will not consider intervening. He must request a payee directly. He already did request a payee earlier this year. We went to a local SS office and he requested affirmatively that I be his payee. The supervisor decided unilaterally not to honor his request. I doubt at this point he will go in to request this again. I believe he will oppose me if I request guardianship. He is so articulate and persuasive that when he was last 5150'd he was able to convince the Administrative Law Judge to release him. And that was with professional staff arguing against him. This is very hard for me. There is his life to consider. Whether he lives or dies. His safety. His health. His potential to mature. How an adversarial court proceeding would affect our relationship. How my taking a stand against his potential and his capacity would affect him, would affect me. He depends upon our relationship. I do not want to risk destroying the integrity of that. How it will affect me if I do not do whatever I can to protect him. There is a plus and and minus to this, however. By protecting him, I limit him. The Social Security Rep brought up the possibility of his returning home to live with me if I was so concerned. I thought about it a second. As horrible as it felt, I heard myself responding, maybe that is the only solution. I will speak with M. I think what I might do is to ask my son if he will consent to an evaluation by a psychiatrist to assess his competency and need for a guardian, his realistic ability to continue to manage his affairs and his life. And go from there. I will speak with M when he gets home. There is so much to consider. I am still very sad but [B][U]I am no longer attacking myself[/U][/B]. That is a very big thing. I felt very alone when I woke up. I no longer feel alone as I write this. I am grateful to you all beyond words. I have many, many words as you all know. To say that my gratitude exceeds their number is to say a lot. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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I give up. It hurts too much to hope.
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