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Parent Emeritus
I give up. It hurts too much to hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662737" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well I am humbled yet again.</p><p></p><p>First I will tell you where I am at and after, what happened. </p><p></p><p>My son did not make Friday's appointment with the liver doctor, but he had called a couple of weeks ago requesting one.</p><p></p><p>He would have missed this Friday's appointment because he did not know about it.</p><p></p><p>The victory lap I made was only partially merited. While he had listened a few weeks ago and did call his doctor, he had not followed up.</p><p></p><p>All of my peace of mind had been a trick on myself, based upon one automated phone call. One call, that was all it took to move from doom to elation.</p><p></p><p>One call more, back to doom, when I realized he did not know about the appointment, and seemed to not take it so seriously.</p><p></p><p>I am ready to kill off my ego and superego. Because I realize that the illusion I have of any control is fueled by my poor ego that thinks it can know or have control over anything. I do not. I am beat up by my superego, to blood and pulp.</p><p></p><p>I see now (yet again) why people turn to Buddhism to relearn and live by appropriate and sane ego limits.</p><p></p><p>For now all I know is: I don't know. What will happen, will happen, and I will accept it. I am OK right this minute.</p><p></p><p>He called last night. He is temporarily in my town, he said, only until Friday and says he will be staying in yet another County in a big city next to the other BIG CITY.</p><p></p><p>My telling my son last night was the first he knew about Friday's appointment! </p><p></p><p>I asked him, would it help you out any if I would go with you on Friday on the train?</p><p></p><p>He hemmed and hawed (I am kinda low in money for the ticket he said.)</p><p></p><p>I am talking about accompanying you to the doctor.</p><p></p><p>Well, yeah.</p><p></p><p>OK. Then why don't you call me Thursday to confirm and we can buy our train tickets. </p><p>__</p><p>I will not buy a ticket for him unless I am on the train.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662737, member: 18958"] Well I am humbled yet again. First I will tell you where I am at and after, what happened. My son did not make Friday's appointment with the liver doctor, but he had called a couple of weeks ago requesting one. He would have missed this Friday's appointment because he did not know about it. The victory lap I made was only partially merited. While he had listened a few weeks ago and did call his doctor, he had not followed up. All of my peace of mind had been a trick on myself, based upon one automated phone call. One call, that was all it took to move from doom to elation. One call more, back to doom, when I realized he did not know about the appointment, and seemed to not take it so seriously. I am ready to kill off my ego and superego. Because I realize that the illusion I have of any control is fueled by my poor ego that thinks it can know or have control over anything. I do not. I am beat up by my superego, to blood and pulp. I see now (yet again) why people turn to Buddhism to relearn and live by appropriate and sane ego limits. For now all I know is: I don't know. What will happen, will happen, and I will accept it. I am OK right this minute. He called last night. He is temporarily in my town, he said, only until Friday and says he will be staying in yet another County in a big city next to the other BIG CITY. My telling my son last night was the first he knew about Friday's appointment! I asked him, would it help you out any if I would go with you on Friday on the train? He hemmed and hawed (I am kinda low in money for the ticket he said.) I am talking about accompanying you to the doctor. Well, yeah. OK. Then why don't you call me Thursday to confirm and we can buy our train tickets. __ I will not buy a ticket for him unless I am on the train. [/QUOTE]
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