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I had a fight with husband over difficult child: Insights and opinions are welcome
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 556114" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>One more thing that really hoovers in this situation is, that I have to mince my words around husband. In fact I decided not to talk about difficult child with him at all. And in the same time difficult child is having hard time and worrywart that I'm, I can't help but think all the more negative scenarios with difficult child. difficult child's team schedule was worst possible from difficult child's point of view after his blunder. There are ways these kind of things are usually handled to help the player get over it and gain back confidence, but because of the schedule they couldn't do that. Neither can they do the second best option. They are simply stuck with the worst possible way to handle it and difficult child simply has to rise to the challenge or this could end up much bigger issue for him and his season.</p><p></p><p>Of course it is only sport, but try to explain that to dramaqueenish teen boy who has dreamed about sport career since he was two or three and who could easily consider this situation like he would be screwing it all up (he isn't, it just a bump but if he wants to make it he has to learn to handle these bumps.) So I do worry that he could slide back to very maladaptive coping mechanisms. I bet that right now he would give anything for being able to not think last Friday and unfortunately gambling gave him just that. If he gets through this, it again makes him much stronger, but I fear that this could easily turn out to be a too difficult challenge for him in this point and that he could screw up. And that would of course start another ballgame all together. He has been doing well and spiral down is the last thing he needs, but I can't help but see also that a very realistic possibility right now. And I can't do anything for that. And now I can't even share my worries with husband. And that kind of hoovers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 556114, member: 14557"] One more thing that really hoovers in this situation is, that I have to mince my words around husband. In fact I decided not to talk about difficult child with him at all. And in the same time difficult child is having hard time and worrywart that I'm, I can't help but think all the more negative scenarios with difficult child. difficult child's team schedule was worst possible from difficult child's point of view after his blunder. There are ways these kind of things are usually handled to help the player get over it and gain back confidence, but because of the schedule they couldn't do that. Neither can they do the second best option. They are simply stuck with the worst possible way to handle it and difficult child simply has to rise to the challenge or this could end up much bigger issue for him and his season. Of course it is only sport, but try to explain that to dramaqueenish teen boy who has dreamed about sport career since he was two or three and who could easily consider this situation like he would be screwing it all up (he isn't, it just a bump but if he wants to make it he has to learn to handle these bumps.) So I do worry that he could slide back to very maladaptive coping mechanisms. I bet that right now he would give anything for being able to not think last Friday and unfortunately gambling gave him just that. If he gets through this, it again makes him much stronger, but I fear that this could easily turn out to be a too difficult challenge for him in this point and that he could screw up. And that would of course start another ballgame all together. He has been doing well and spiral down is the last thing he needs, but I can't help but see also that a very realistic possibility right now. And I can't do anything for that. And now I can't even share my worries with husband. And that kind of hoovers. [/QUOTE]
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I had a fight with husband over difficult child: Insights and opinions are welcome
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