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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687889" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is Lil's thread, not mine, but I will pose a question here.</p><p></p><p>There is the question of capacity, and whether our individual children have the capacity to learn life's lessons or not. I threw my son out over 4 years ago believing that he needed this to learn life's lessons. He did not. He sunk. Got on SSI, etc.</p><p></p><p>He has changed a great deal: attitude, cooperation, loving, way less aggressive, willing to work (for us).</p><p></p><p>And he has grown in his knowledge of the world and how to hold himself. But because of intrinsic differences or motivation or whatever he is unwilling to set his sites to take on the realities that most of us deal with in our lives.</p><p></p><p>On several threads right now there is the question of whether tough love works. TL in her thread mentioned that the research shows it does not work in many cases.</p><p></p><p>My question is this: To what extent do we let them suffer hard knocks, just because, if we can no longer tell ourselves that it works?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687889, member: 18958"] This is Lil's thread, not mine, but I will pose a question here. There is the question of capacity, and whether our individual children have the capacity to learn life's lessons or not. I threw my son out over 4 years ago believing that he needed this to learn life's lessons. He did not. He sunk. Got on SSI, etc. He has changed a great deal: attitude, cooperation, loving, way less aggressive, willing to work (for us). And he has grown in his knowledge of the world and how to hold himself. But because of intrinsic differences or motivation or whatever he is unwilling to set his sites to take on the realities that most of us deal with in our lives. On several threads right now there is the question of whether tough love works. TL in her thread mentioned that the research shows it does not work in many cases. My question is this: To what extent do we let them suffer hard knocks, just because, if we can no longer tell ourselves that it works? [/QUOTE]
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