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Substance Abuse
I hate getting these phone calls.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 739025" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think he was embarrassed.</p><p></p><p>This was a feeble attempt to make a boundary. Very feeble.</p><p></p><p>Maybe as he gets stronger he can say this: <em>I prefer to keep my motivations and private life private. </em></p><p></p><p>The unfortunate position we find ourselves in is this: they act like babies, but they are men who are trying to position themselves as men. Except they do not have the skills, are very dependent upon us, and resent both of these facts. We end up being scapegoated because we stay in the game, and they target us or obfuscate for their own failure to handle things like grown ups.</p><p></p><p>You are both doing great. You are in conversation. He is able to use his relationship to you in ways that serve him. You keep at it, too.</p><p></p><p>I think the worst mistake I kept making was to allow my son to come back home and to another property I own. As long as he was away from here, more or less, I could function in the way you describe yourself doing. But not when he is near me. He got so abusive and unwilling to accept boundaries and to contribute, let alone the drugs, the whole thing broke down. </p><p></p><p>So far, for a month, I have kept a huge moat between us. I have not spoken to him, except a few words. It is very hard for me, but I see no real option.</p><p></p><p>The other huge strength of your son is that he works.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 739025, member: 18958"] I think he was embarrassed. This was a feeble attempt to make a boundary. Very feeble. Maybe as he gets stronger he can say this: [I]I prefer to keep my motivations and private life private. [/I] The unfortunate position we find ourselves in is this: they act like babies, but they are men who are trying to position themselves as men. Except they do not have the skills, are very dependent upon us, and resent both of these facts. We end up being scapegoated because we stay in the game, and they target us or obfuscate for their own failure to handle things like grown ups. You are both doing great. You are in conversation. He is able to use his relationship to you in ways that serve him. You keep at it, too. I think the worst mistake I kept making was to allow my son to come back home and to another property I own. As long as he was away from here, more or less, I could function in the way you describe yourself doing. But not when he is near me. He got so abusive and unwilling to accept boundaries and to contribute, let alone the drugs, the whole thing broke down. So far, for a month, I have kept a huge moat between us. I have not spoken to him, except a few words. It is very hard for me, but I see no real option. The other huge strength of your son is that he works. [/QUOTE]
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I hate getting these phone calls.....
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