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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631154" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Lil, this is a very reasonable thing to do, and is appropriate and respectful of his adulthood. I did that with my difficult child, and I've done it in a modified way with my easy child's too (they are only 16) as I start to let go of managing their lives for them. I say something along the lines of "you know as a mom it is hard to let go, and to step back and see that you are competent, and don't really need me to all the things I had to do for you when were little. I'm sorry I have continued trying to manage you when, now, as an adult, I know that you are fully able to manage yourself...that must have felt frustrating and demeaning. I am going to try to stop, but please be patient with me when I slip up. But it is my intention to get out of your way in managing your (time/calendar/money/job/schoolwork). I have a lot of respect for you and I know that you can do it on your own, indeed that you have to do it on your own as the next step in fully growing up. I love you."</p><p></p><p>Feels good to say, and I suspect good to hear. And then they've heard it. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631154, member: 17269"] Lil, this is a very reasonable thing to do, and is appropriate and respectful of his adulthood. I did that with my difficult child, and I've done it in a modified way with my easy child's too (they are only 16) as I start to let go of managing their lives for them. I say something along the lines of "you know as a mom it is hard to let go, and to step back and see that you are competent, and don't really need me to all the things I had to do for you when were little. I'm sorry I have continued trying to manage you when, now, as an adult, I know that you are fully able to manage yourself...that must have felt frustrating and demeaning. I am going to try to stop, but please be patient with me when I slip up. But it is my intention to get out of your way in managing your (time/calendar/money/job/schoolwork). I have a lot of respect for you and I know that you can do it on your own, indeed that you have to do it on your own as the next step in fully growing up. I love you." Feels good to say, and I suspect good to hear. And then they've heard it. Echo [/QUOTE]
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