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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 631174" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>So, this morning after we all got up and I had some coffee, I sat my son down and told him, "I haven't really been fair to you in a way. I've realized I keep telling you to act like a man, but I treat you like a kid; telling you to shower, to brush your teeth (I'll explain that), how to job hunt, where to look, what to wear. I've decided I have to stop that and I'm going to try very hard to treat you like an adult." He responded that, "It's okay, I don't really mind sometimes...but it can be annoying sometimes too." I told him, "I realize that and I'm your mom and I expect I'll still do it from time to time. So if I start, just say, 'I'm 19 mom...I got this.'" </p><p></p><p>I explained that this doesn't change a thing about the rules. We're still not going to stand for dishes in his room (in fact, reminded him today it needs cleaned up) and that as of noon today (yeah, we gave him a the morning) we want the car keys in our hands. He'll get no money or car until he has a job...(unless he needs it for an interview out of town like Thursday's fiasco - but we didn't tell him that). </p><p></p><p>I said, "You know how to find work and if you want to you will find it. You're a smart young man, you'll figure it out." </p><p></p><p>We also told him not to call me at work anymore unless he's in need of a hospital, the house is on fire, or he has good news - like a job. I told him every time he calls it gets me worked up and then I have to deal with people who complain about money and their kids and be impartial and it's just too much! </p><p></p><p>The talk went well. We'll see what happens next I guess.</p><p></p><p>Oh - and the teeth. FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS we spent on that kid's braces - necessary, not cosmetic - all of which had to be paid in ONE year - (I still don't know why, we have good credit and I've never heard of anyone else having to do it in one - but they just said it was something about our credit and wouldn't tell me more) and we fought him the whole two years he had them to brush his teeth and floss. Then when they came off we fought him to wear his retainer - by then he's 16. STILL fighting to get him to brush. By the time he was 18 he didn't have to wear it except for sleeping. Of course, the second he left for college, he stopped wearing it. He came home with teeth like a carney; crooked and yellow - nearly brown, and he didn't brush them the first WEEK - until I threatened to kick him out! All that money wasted. So his teeth are a thing for me. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> He did ask the other day if we'd buy some white strips. I told him we would, but ONLY if he promised that he'd use them as directed and start brushing at least two times a day. Today, I noticed, and told him, that his teeth were looking much, much better than when he came home. So...yeah. Guess he's been brushing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 631174, member: 17309"] So, this morning after we all got up and I had some coffee, I sat my son down and told him, "I haven't really been fair to you in a way. I've realized I keep telling you to act like a man, but I treat you like a kid; telling you to shower, to brush your teeth (I'll explain that), how to job hunt, where to look, what to wear. I've decided I have to stop that and I'm going to try very hard to treat you like an adult." He responded that, "It's okay, I don't really mind sometimes...but it can be annoying sometimes too." I told him, "I realize that and I'm your mom and I expect I'll still do it from time to time. So if I start, just say, 'I'm 19 mom...I got this.'" I explained that this doesn't change a thing about the rules. We're still not going to stand for dishes in his room (in fact, reminded him today it needs cleaned up) and that as of noon today (yeah, we gave him a the morning) we want the car keys in our hands. He'll get no money or car until he has a job...(unless he needs it for an interview out of town like Thursday's fiasco - but we didn't tell him that). I said, "You know how to find work and if you want to you will find it. You're a smart young man, you'll figure it out." We also told him not to call me at work anymore unless he's in need of a hospital, the house is on fire, or he has good news - like a job. I told him every time he calls it gets me worked up and then I have to deal with people who complain about money and their kids and be impartial and it's just too much! The talk went well. We'll see what happens next I guess. Oh - and the teeth. FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS we spent on that kid's braces - necessary, not cosmetic - all of which had to be paid in ONE year - (I still don't know why, we have good credit and I've never heard of anyone else having to do it in one - but they just said it was something about our credit and wouldn't tell me more) and we fought him the whole two years he had them to brush his teeth and floss. Then when they came off we fought him to wear his retainer - by then he's 16. STILL fighting to get him to brush. By the time he was 18 he didn't have to wear it except for sleeping. Of course, the second he left for college, he stopped wearing it. He came home with teeth like a carney; crooked and yellow - nearly brown, and he didn't brush them the first WEEK - until I threatened to kick him out! All that money wasted. So his teeth are a thing for me. >:( He did ask the other day if we'd buy some white strips. I told him we would, but ONLY if he promised that he'd use them as directed and start brushing at least two times a day. Today, I noticed, and told him, that his teeth were looking much, much better than when he came home. So...yeah. Guess he's been brushing. [/QUOTE]
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