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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 631253" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Oh my MWM, don't apologize! You didn't upset me in the slightest! I said "relatively", lol. No...he can be quite personable when he wants to be (which isn't very often), but there's nothing "nice" about being an ungrateful, manipulative brat! Not physically assaulting or verbally abusing others doesn't make you nice. That's like saying my ex was a good husband because he didn't beat me...and ignoring the refusing to work and cheating on me. "Nice" people actually care about someone besides themselves. "Nice" people show a little remorse when they've hurt someone and are understanding of how their actions affect others. "Nice" people don't scream and put their fists through doors when things don't go their way, they don't spend thousands of either their parents or their own borrowed money on school to just not go, they don't lie about everything, they don't steal, especially not from the people who love them. "Nice" people don't just assume everything should be forgiven, no matter what they've done.</p><p> </p><p>So no, I don't think he's a "nice" person...just nicer than he could be. </p><p> </p><p>I think my point was that I realize I actually haven't had as severe of problems as many of you and I recognize that. He hasn't been in jail, or lived on the streets (at least not for more than a week and then he was more couch-surfing). He hasn't threatened or attempted to harm himself. He hasn't harmed others. He is not, as far as I can tell, into "serious" drugs...at least he's taking a test for a job interview today, so apparently not. His drug of choice seems to be pot, real or synthetic (which I believe does not show on a drug test), and he's definitely cut way, way back. His actions, and occasionally his words, are disrespectful and hurtful, but not generally hateful or mean toward us.</p><p> </p><p>Kind of a sad way to count your blessings, listing all the things that could be worse, huh?</p><p> </p><p>So...today may be factory day. He's been told to text when he goes, and I'll gps his phone to make sure he goes. The mileage to the place is estimated (my husband drives by it on his way to work) and ... well we'll see.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 631253, member: 17309"] Oh my MWM, don't apologize! You didn't upset me in the slightest! I said "relatively", lol. No...he can be quite personable when he wants to be (which isn't very often), but there's nothing "nice" about being an ungrateful, manipulative brat! Not physically assaulting or verbally abusing others doesn't make you nice. That's like saying my ex was a good husband because he didn't beat me...and ignoring the refusing to work and cheating on me. "Nice" people actually care about someone besides themselves. "Nice" people show a little remorse when they've hurt someone and are understanding of how their actions affect others. "Nice" people don't scream and put their fists through doors when things don't go their way, they don't spend thousands of either their parents or their own borrowed money on school to just not go, they don't lie about everything, they don't steal, especially not from the people who love them. "Nice" people don't just assume everything should be forgiven, no matter what they've done. So no, I don't think he's a "nice" person...just nicer than he could be. I think my point was that I realize I actually haven't had as severe of problems as many of you and I recognize that. He hasn't been in jail, or lived on the streets (at least not for more than a week and then he was more couch-surfing). He hasn't threatened or attempted to harm himself. He hasn't harmed others. He is not, as far as I can tell, into "serious" drugs...at least he's taking a test for a job interview today, so apparently not. His drug of choice seems to be pot, real or synthetic (which I believe does not show on a drug test), and he's definitely cut way, way back. His actions, and occasionally his words, are disrespectful and hurtful, but not generally hateful or mean toward us. Kind of a sad way to count your blessings, listing all the things that could be worse, huh? So...today may be factory day. He's been told to text when he goes, and I'll gps his phone to make sure he goes. The mileage to the place is estimated (my husband drives by it on his way to work) and ... well we'll see. [/QUOTE]
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