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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631611" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, no problem. I tend to try to get parents to see what I didn't see because it hurt me and my own adult children when I closed my eyes. I do think you are, as I was, so eager to see progress that you exaggerate anything that he does that is normal, like going on a job interview. Trust me, I did the same and, boy, when the truth slapped me in the face, I was so not ready. When I walked in on my daughter's drug/pill/drinking party after coming home from a vacation a day early without telling her (it was not to trick her, we just thought she was at home taking care of our pets), the denial turned into horror. We had no idea she used pills. We had no idea she'd bring a crew of criminals who looked like thugs into our home to get high, puke in our bathrooms, and pass break the law under our roof. We had to call the cops to get rid of them. Because I thought she was only using pot, and only sometimes, it was a shock like I can't explain.</p><p></p><p>This is embarassing, but I will s hare. My daughter, ins pite of doing meth and cocaine, was in hair styling school getting A's. But her counselor called me to tell me that several of her peers were worried about her and felt she was doing serious drugs, like cocaine. I gave the poor young woman a piece of my mind and told her my daughter was on bipolar medication (I thought she was) and that they did not understand...MY DAUGHTER WAS NOT A DRUG USER OF HARD DRUGS!!!!</p><p></p><p>But I found out she was. And the counselor had been right. For some reason, my daughter could do school and work while very high on drugs. And she did both. Once we found some parphanalia in our car. I was driving my youngest to school. She said, "What's this?" and gave it to me. I gasped and threw it out the window so we didn't get stopped by a cop and then confronted my daughter, who we still thought just used pot (and, to be fair, this was one of those devices they use to smoke pot with). I woke her up and she was ticked and said, "Oh, I can't believe it! I WAS SET UP! I know who did it too!" I was furious at this person who set her up, only the truth was there was no person who set her up. It was hers. Denial, denial, denial. I believed her until I saw for myself and I couldn't deny anymore. I made more excuses for her than I have fingers and toes. You remind me of myself back then. I'm sorry I upset you. I really am.</p><p></p><p>I do not think your son would have been around binge drinkers and alcoholics tonight at all if he wasn't doing it himself...and with that I will let others give you further advice. I don't want to make you angry. Something is not right in your situation, but it is your journey, not mine and you have to take it yourself and deal with it in your own way as does your son. I wish you good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. All of us are holding your hand, regardless of our take on things. We have not had it easy and we learned from the famous School of Hard Knocks...lol. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631611, member: 1550"] Lil, no problem. I tend to try to get parents to see what I didn't see because it hurt me and my own adult children when I closed my eyes. I do think you are, as I was, so eager to see progress that you exaggerate anything that he does that is normal, like going on a job interview. Trust me, I did the same and, boy, when the truth slapped me in the face, I was so not ready. When I walked in on my daughter's drug/pill/drinking party after coming home from a vacation a day early without telling her (it was not to trick her, we just thought she was at home taking care of our pets), the denial turned into horror. We had no idea she used pills. We had no idea she'd bring a crew of criminals who looked like thugs into our home to get high, puke in our bathrooms, and pass break the law under our roof. We had to call the cops to get rid of them. Because I thought she was only using pot, and only sometimes, it was a shock like I can't explain. This is embarassing, but I will s hare. My daughter, ins pite of doing meth and cocaine, was in hair styling school getting A's. But her counselor called me to tell me that several of her peers were worried about her and felt she was doing serious drugs, like cocaine. I gave the poor young woman a piece of my mind and told her my daughter was on bipolar medication (I thought she was) and that they did not understand...MY DAUGHTER WAS NOT A DRUG USER OF HARD DRUGS!!!! But I found out she was. And the counselor had been right. For some reason, my daughter could do school and work while very high on drugs. And she did both. Once we found some parphanalia in our car. I was driving my youngest to school. She said, "What's this?" and gave it to me. I gasped and threw it out the window so we didn't get stopped by a cop and then confronted my daughter, who we still thought just used pot (and, to be fair, this was one of those devices they use to smoke pot with). I woke her up and she was ticked and said, "Oh, I can't believe it! I WAS SET UP! I know who did it too!" I was furious at this person who set her up, only the truth was there was no person who set her up. It was hers. Denial, denial, denial. I believed her until I saw for myself and I couldn't deny anymore. I made more excuses for her than I have fingers and toes. You remind me of myself back then. I'm sorry I upset you. I really am. I do not think your son would have been around binge drinkers and alcoholics tonight at all if he wasn't doing it himself...and with that I will let others give you further advice. I don't want to make you angry. Something is not right in your situation, but it is your journey, not mine and you have to take it yourself and deal with it in your own way as does your son. I wish you good luck :). All of us are holding your hand, regardless of our take on things. We have not had it easy and we learned from the famous School of Hard Knocks...lol. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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