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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 631637" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>Hi Lil, I want to apologize. No one is qualified to diagnose anyone over the internet and that's kind of what I tried to do last night. Reading my post from last night shaking my head and going back to unplugging my keyboard when go for a second glass of wine. I do apologize I was completely out of line.</p><p></p><p>I did notice with the car and money thing a lot of similarities to when one of my girls gets into "mission mode"; it's like they decide what they want and how to get me to give it to them - then when I don't fall into the trap they set they start using all kinds of bait and manipulation tactics to try to get me to cave. </p><p></p><p>The only one of my kids who drives is the 29yo and he didn't get his license<em> until he was 18yo, working to pay driving school & buy his own vehicle. That's just my thing I can't get them to clean their room I refuse to be responsible for them out in a car, also I usually drive vehicles that are fragile (old final stages of life) and one stomp on the brakes could be looking at a $500 repair. </em> </p><p>I was raised to be a spoiled brat, everything I wanted or needed handed to me usually before I even knew I wanted it. 16yo handed keys to new car to drive, get mad, smash it so they give me a brand new New Yorker (loaner) to drive while it got fixed. </p><p></p><p>Spending money enough to have quite the drug habit going by the time I was 14yo. I swore my kids even if I were a billionaire who could give them a car would work to earn every penny of their auto insurance or they wouldn't be driving. Any person with money to buy drugs can afford to pay rent.</p><p></p><p>The fact is I'm not a billionaire LOL last week of the month can barely afford a bottle of milk. It's because I threw my career to the wind many years ago to be the full time mom my kids needed at the time, and another dream job like the one I quit hasn't presented itself. Yes things to pay the rent & bills come along but nothing anywhere like what I had. </p><p></p><p>I didn't have a choice the stress was killing me; sitting at work 3rd light on the phone would light up and I knew it was the school with a "she bit the teacher, flipped the principal, we think she is still in the building but we can't find her GET HERE NOW!" call. And the guilt became a factor at work felt like not giving kids attention they needed, while dealing with the kids knew my job wasn't getting done at work - it was like constantly feeling like the rope in a game of tug o war. </p><p></p><p>I can see where all those distractions at work would make concentrating on your job very difficult. I had to laugh when said not to call unless need hospital, house is on fire or had good news like he got a job. My thought was if need a hospital call an ambulance, if house is on fire call fire department then me (so I don't have stroke when pull in driveway and see charred sundeck where my kitchen use to be) and the good news like "I got a job" can wait till I get home it will be something nice to talk about at dinner. </p><p></p><p>That's just me I'm an all or nothing gal, any job I accept whether volunteer or paid deserves to be done to the best of my ability and I can't do that if my head is somewhere else. Again I apologize my impaired posting snafu last night, wanted to say glad to meet you and send a hug and some positive energy your way.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 631637, member: 7170"] Hi Lil, I want to apologize. No one is qualified to diagnose anyone over the internet and that's kind of what I tried to do last night. Reading my post from last night shaking my head and going back to unplugging my keyboard when go for a second glass of wine. I do apologize I was completely out of line. I did notice with the car and money thing a lot of similarities to when one of my girls gets into "mission mode"; it's like they decide what they want and how to get me to give it to them - then when I don't fall into the trap they set they start using all kinds of bait and manipulation tactics to try to get me to cave. The only one of my kids who drives is the 29yo and he didn't get his license[I] until he was 18yo, working to pay driving school & buy his own vehicle. That's just my thing I can't get them to clean their room I refuse to be responsible for them out in a car, also I usually drive vehicles that are fragile (old final stages of life) and one stomp on the brakes could be looking at a $500 repair. [/I] I was raised to be a spoiled brat, everything I wanted or needed handed to me usually before I even knew I wanted it. 16yo handed keys to new car to drive, get mad, smash it so they give me a brand new New Yorker (loaner) to drive while it got fixed. Spending money enough to have quite the drug habit going by the time I was 14yo. I swore my kids even if I were a billionaire who could give them a car would work to earn every penny of their auto insurance or they wouldn't be driving. Any person with money to buy drugs can afford to pay rent. The fact is I'm not a billionaire LOL last week of the month can barely afford a bottle of milk. It's because I threw my career to the wind many years ago to be the full time mom my kids needed at the time, and another dream job like the one I quit hasn't presented itself. Yes things to pay the rent & bills come along but nothing anywhere like what I had. I didn't have a choice the stress was killing me; sitting at work 3rd light on the phone would light up and I knew it was the school with a "she bit the teacher, flipped the principal, we think she is still in the building but we can't find her GET HERE NOW!" call. And the guilt became a factor at work felt like not giving kids attention they needed, while dealing with the kids knew my job wasn't getting done at work - it was like constantly feeling like the rope in a game of tug o war. I can see where all those distractions at work would make concentrating on your job very difficult. I had to laugh when said not to call unless need hospital, house is on fire or had good news like he got a job. My thought was if need a hospital call an ambulance, if house is on fire call fire department then me (so I don't have stroke when pull in driveway and see charred sundeck where my kitchen use to be) and the good news like "I got a job" can wait till I get home it will be something nice to talk about at dinner. That's just me I'm an all or nothing gal, any job I accept whether volunteer or paid deserves to be done to the best of my ability and I can't do that if my head is somewhere else. Again I apologize my impaired posting snafu last night, wanted to say glad to meet you and send a hug and some positive energy your way. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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