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I have had it!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 152624" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>My question back to your husband would be: </p><p> </p><p>You think I gave up on Aly, our daughter. But I'd like to know at what point you gave up on Vicky, your wife? Had you stood by me in my decisions to raise Aly in a manner that curbs undesirable behaviors and allows her to grow and mature with coping skills she will need later in life - YOU wouldn't have taken Aly's side over mine. You instead would have backed ME up and created a unified front, to what I know is the right way to handle a child with emotional disabilities. </p><p> </p><p> Since you didn't have any respect for me, I find it increasingly harder to have respect for you and what YOU are ultimately doing to Aly. She's not going to learn a THING from your behavior plan because the only GOAL you have with her life and behavior is to keep her calm for the moment. You are enabling her to grow up to be unfit for the world. Since there is no convincing you or compromise on our parenting - I left. I will not continue to live in a house where a child treats me like Aly does and a husband who allows those behaviors to go on.</p><p>I do love her, I do love you - but along with love I need to be respected. Since I was not? I left. </p><p> </p><p>It may be cute or semi-work at age 10, but at 16,17 20 years old? People in the outside world aren't going to think her behavior is cute, they will think she has problems, shy away from her and she's going to end up lonely, dysfunctional and twice as frustrated as she is now. If you think that's all a bunch of balogna, then look at how she's permitted to treat her own MOTHER and tell me - please tell me if she's allowed to walk on her OWN Mother without any backing or correction from her FAHTER- HOW IN THE WORLD do you expect her to treat the rest of the world? Because the minute you stop giving in to her, and allowing her to have her way husband - she'll behave the same with you. </p><p> </p><p>And in the end - you've actually chosen our daughter OVER your wife. That's something I refuse to live with. That's why I'm not living there. That's why I don't allow Aly to bully me and terrorize J. That's why I am not there to BE her mother. Because you wouldn't allow me to be her Mother - you wanted me to be her friend, and that's not my job. It's not yours either. Your job was to be her Father. While you think that's the role you are providing for Aly I disagree, and thus will remain outside our marital home and continue to bring Aly back to you when she's disrespectful to me. It's the only way you are allowing me to Mother her, and I am being forced to mother my child from a distance. Sad really. </p><p> </p><p>(Vickie - that's just how I would feel) </p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry for you! </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 152624, member: 4964"] My question back to your husband would be: You think I gave up on Aly, our daughter. But I'd like to know at what point you gave up on Vicky, your wife? Had you stood by me in my decisions to raise Aly in a manner that curbs undesirable behaviors and allows her to grow and mature with coping skills she will need later in life - YOU wouldn't have taken Aly's side over mine. You instead would have backed ME up and created a unified front, to what I know is the right way to handle a child with emotional disabilities. Since you didn't have any respect for me, I find it increasingly harder to have respect for you and what YOU are ultimately doing to Aly. She's not going to learn a THING from your behavior plan because the only GOAL you have with her life and behavior is to keep her calm for the moment. You are enabling her to grow up to be unfit for the world. Since there is no convincing you or compromise on our parenting - I left. I will not continue to live in a house where a child treats me like Aly does and a husband who allows those behaviors to go on. I do love her, I do love you - but along with love I need to be respected. Since I was not? I left. It may be cute or semi-work at age 10, but at 16,17 20 years old? People in the outside world aren't going to think her behavior is cute, they will think she has problems, shy away from her and she's going to end up lonely, dysfunctional and twice as frustrated as she is now. If you think that's all a bunch of balogna, then look at how she's permitted to treat her own MOTHER and tell me - please tell me if she's allowed to walk on her OWN Mother without any backing or correction from her FAHTER- HOW IN THE WORLD do you expect her to treat the rest of the world? Because the minute you stop giving in to her, and allowing her to have her way husband - she'll behave the same with you. And in the end - you've actually chosen our daughter OVER your wife. That's something I refuse to live with. That's why I'm not living there. That's why I don't allow Aly to bully me and terrorize J. That's why I am not there to BE her mother. Because you wouldn't allow me to be her Mother - you wanted me to be her friend, and that's not my job. It's not yours either. Your job was to be her Father. While you think that's the role you are providing for Aly I disagree, and thus will remain outside our marital home and continue to bring Aly back to you when she's disrespectful to me. It's the only way you are allowing me to Mother her, and I am being forced to mother my child from a distance. Sad really. (Vickie - that's just how I would feel) I'm so sorry for you! Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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