Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I just got one of those dreaded messages from my son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 686754" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>People are not born a blank slate like once was a popular, wrong theory. After I gave birth to my son I remember looking in the nursery at how different each baby was. Some slept. Some were looking around with fists waving and legs kicking. Some were just serene snd quiet. I think our inborn temperment drives us, and usually should not be judged as good or bad.</p><p>Those of us with more than one kid know that one child may be content to draw and read for hours. Another may be outside riding his bike to find friends to play with. Another is so sensitive, you look at her wrong and she cries. Another may be obstinate and buck your rules.</p><p>I think impulsive, high strung kids crave more stimulation to feel alive and that thus can cause a young, bored middle schooler to seek out risktaking friends who may dare him to, say, shoplift. A calm content kid would probably not give into that sort of drama, but a risk taker may feel a rush of excitement. I have one kid who was known as the master of shoplifting. He was never caught and I only found out a few years ago. Yikes! This child was always drawn to mischief and liked attention.</p><p>Add inborn personality to other factors that can cause problems (divorce, adoption isdues, puberty, being bullied, school struggles, bigotry, the list is endless...the teen decides which peers or life suits him best. Unhappy people tend to make worse choices in their quest to find acceptance and to express their world view that "it sukks." </p><p>Sometimes achieving kids newly feel left out at college so it starts there.</p><p>There are infinite reasons for making good, bad and neutral choices. Everyone is different. Our temperment, our upbringing, our genetics, our life experience, everything sets the table. Its not just about us as parents unless we were abusive. Its everything.</p><p>I was a rebel who thought "everything sukks." I was also timid and NOT a risktaker. That seperated me ftom the risk takers. I was terrified of mind altering drugs. It saved me. This one thing...fear.</p><p>I feel its best not to over analyze "why" and not blame ourselves and focus mostly on the present....what it is.</p><p>We love our kids, but we all see the world differently, even parent and beloved kid. We are limited as to what we can do to influence our grown kids. We are not them. They are not us. It seems unfair when we first hold that baby. We have our hopes and dreams, but the baby is not sharing our dreams and will do things his way.</p><p>Whew! Not sure why I felt the need to vent. </p><p>Have a great day everyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 686754, member: 1550"] People are not born a blank slate like once was a popular, wrong theory. After I gave birth to my son I remember looking in the nursery at how different each baby was. Some slept. Some were looking around with fists waving and legs kicking. Some were just serene snd quiet. I think our inborn temperment drives us, and usually should not be judged as good or bad. Those of us with more than one kid know that one child may be content to draw and read for hours. Another may be outside riding his bike to find friends to play with. Another is so sensitive, you look at her wrong and she cries. Another may be obstinate and buck your rules. I think impulsive, high strung kids crave more stimulation to feel alive and that thus can cause a young, bored middle schooler to seek out risktaking friends who may dare him to, say, shoplift. A calm content kid would probably not give into that sort of drama, but a risk taker may feel a rush of excitement. I have one kid who was known as the master of shoplifting. He was never caught and I only found out a few years ago. Yikes! This child was always drawn to mischief and liked attention. Add inborn personality to other factors that can cause problems (divorce, adoption isdues, puberty, being bullied, school struggles, bigotry, the list is endless...the teen decides which peers or life suits him best. Unhappy people tend to make worse choices in their quest to find acceptance and to express their world view that "it sukks." Sometimes achieving kids newly feel left out at college so it starts there. There are infinite reasons for making good, bad and neutral choices. Everyone is different. Our temperment, our upbringing, our genetics, our life experience, everything sets the table. Its not just about us as parents unless we were abusive. Its everything. I was a rebel who thought "everything sukks." I was also timid and NOT a risktaker. That seperated me ftom the risk takers. I was terrified of mind altering drugs. It saved me. This one thing...fear. I feel its best not to over analyze "why" and not blame ourselves and focus mostly on the present....what it is. We love our kids, but we all see the world differently, even parent and beloved kid. We are limited as to what we can do to influence our grown kids. We are not them. They are not us. It seems unfair when we first hold that baby. We have our hopes and dreams, but the baby is not sharing our dreams and will do things his way. Whew! Not sure why I felt the need to vent. Have a great day everyone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I just got one of those dreaded messages from my son
Top