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I knew it was too good to last
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 30478" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thank you all.</p><p></p><p>I thought that singing while he was being defiant was a bit of humor but perhaps it was too little, too late.</p><p></p><p>I also considered driving to school with-o giving him his medications but then he has "won," so to speak... he was in the car, he had the juice in his hands... 50% of the issue right there... but then the pill was the last straw and he flat out refused to take it. (Again.) He said I was changing the topic and conditions (say what? the medications are non-negotiable!) so I'm hoping, in a strange way, that it's not manipulation but perhaps Aspeberger's or something, where he takes every tiny thing literally. Eg., "If you get dressed and get in the car for school you can still go to the game," leaves out the step, "And take your pill." </p><p>Never mind that I've told him to take his pill 10X b4 that... in THAT conversation, it wasn't included.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p></p><p>In re: to whether I escalated the whole thing, one of the reasons I left the car was, 1) he was defiant and totally uncooperative; 2) he clearly no longer had a headache and was stalling, as evidenced by the fact he got dressed and was in the car within 5 min. after I told him that it was conditional upon his attending the game; 3) I was getting upset and didn't want to escalate it.</p><p>So much for THAT! LOL.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I didn't make that all clear in my initial note... I was under a bit of stress and may have left out a few things. </p><p></p><p>Still, I appreciate your comments and will take them into consideration.</p><p></p><p>The child psychiatric called and talked for quite a while. He said I have to create tighter, stricter parameters and no longer allow difficult child to earn back any rewards, iow, what we take away stays away as long as we say it's gone--if it's a month, then we can't remove one day at a time because difficult child has been good; the next time he blocks my way out of a door or physically assaults me (which I thought was under control but came pretty darn close today) I should call juv. intake (I really don't like that option, especially since I think we need more tests and diagnosis); and 3) we have to investigate whether difficult child is underdiagnosed and may be bipolar.</p><p></p><p>There is no excuse for a child who threatens his mother (or anyone else, for that matter), regardless whether I escalated it. </p><p>Still, I am willing to learn and I appreciate your comments. This is a great bb, especially since there is such an array of opinions and experiences.</p><p>I can't WAIT for our appointment. with-the neuropsychologist next mo. (We've been on a long waiting list.)</p><p>And I'm in it for the long haul, regardless of my fantasies about moving out or putting him on The Rack.</p><p></p><p>by the way, my friend came over and stood next to me while I once again tried to get difficult child to take his pill and go to school. difficult child sat in the LaZyboy, pouted and wouldn't make eye contact. I repeated, "Time for your pill and for school!" in a chipper voice, and he grunted. Friend, in a deep, loud voice said, "Do what your mother says!"</p><p></p><p>difficult child got up and did it.</p><p></p><p>What does that tell you?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 30478, member: 3419"] Thank you all. I thought that singing while he was being defiant was a bit of humor but perhaps it was too little, too late. I also considered driving to school with-o giving him his medications but then he has "won," so to speak... he was in the car, he had the juice in his hands... 50% of the issue right there... but then the pill was the last straw and he flat out refused to take it. (Again.) He said I was changing the topic and conditions (say what? the medications are non-negotiable!) so I'm hoping, in a strange way, that it's not manipulation but perhaps Aspeberger's or something, where he takes every tiny thing literally. Eg., "If you get dressed and get in the car for school you can still go to the game," leaves out the step, "And take your pill." Never mind that I've told him to take his pill 10X b4 that... in THAT conversation, it wasn't included. Sigh. In re: to whether I escalated the whole thing, one of the reasons I left the car was, 1) he was defiant and totally uncooperative; 2) he clearly no longer had a headache and was stalling, as evidenced by the fact he got dressed and was in the car within 5 min. after I told him that it was conditional upon his attending the game; 3) I was getting upset and didn't want to escalate it. So much for THAT! LOL. Sorry if I didn't make that all clear in my initial note... I was under a bit of stress and may have left out a few things. Still, I appreciate your comments and will take them into consideration. The child psychiatric called and talked for quite a while. He said I have to create tighter, stricter parameters and no longer allow difficult child to earn back any rewards, iow, what we take away stays away as long as we say it's gone--if it's a month, then we can't remove one day at a time because difficult child has been good; the next time he blocks my way out of a door or physically assaults me (which I thought was under control but came pretty darn close today) I should call juv. intake (I really don't like that option, especially since I think we need more tests and diagnosis); and 3) we have to investigate whether difficult child is underdiagnosed and may be bipolar. There is no excuse for a child who threatens his mother (or anyone else, for that matter), regardless whether I escalated it. Still, I am willing to learn and I appreciate your comments. This is a great bb, especially since there is such an array of opinions and experiences. I can't WAIT for our appointment. with-the neuropsychologist next mo. (We've been on a long waiting list.) And I'm in it for the long haul, regardless of my fantasies about moving out or putting him on The Rack. by the way, my friend came over and stood next to me while I once again tried to get difficult child to take his pill and go to school. difficult child sat in the LaZyboy, pouted and wouldn't make eye contact. I repeated, "Time for your pill and for school!" in a chipper voice, and he grunted. Friend, in a deep, loud voice said, "Do what your mother says!" difficult child got up and did it. What does that tell you? [/QUOTE]
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