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I know I'm asking for trouble, but...
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 587273" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Darn! I had already nixed this plan. I'm simply too stressed right now and that adds just so much more possibilities of failure that it just begun to feel a very bad idea. Unfortunately difficult child decided otherwise. His season is over and he just called me and told that he and girlfriend are coming for a visit for Sunday and Monday and he plans to stay at least next week, while girlfriend goes back.</p><p></p><p>if he is going to be here, it will likely be less stressful to actually ask him to help father in law and promise to pay him some than just wait and see if he wants to help on his own and how much and when. And again, I'm certainly not telling him that he couldn't come home.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking of these expectations:</p><p>Up and on his second mug of coffee when father in law comes around 9 a.m. Helping father in law with the ways father in law needs him, till father in law calls it a day (usually around 3 p.m.) but if difficult child has something special planned and can't, it's okay, just to tell father in law beforehand so he can plan work so that difficult child's absence isn't a big inconvenience. No need to help with reno during evenings when me or husband are on it. I think that if he does not specially ask, I will let it up to air how much we will pay him, just say that we will pay him a little towards his and girlfriend's vacation trip. That way we can pay what we want, if we have to make a clear deal, we have to be more precise with the expectations too and I don't feel that is a good idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 587273, member: 14557"] Darn! I had already nixed this plan. I'm simply too stressed right now and that adds just so much more possibilities of failure that it just begun to feel a very bad idea. Unfortunately difficult child decided otherwise. His season is over and he just called me and told that he and girlfriend are coming for a visit for Sunday and Monday and he plans to stay at least next week, while girlfriend goes back. if he is going to be here, it will likely be less stressful to actually ask him to help father in law and promise to pay him some than just wait and see if he wants to help on his own and how much and when. And again, I'm certainly not telling him that he couldn't come home. I'm thinking of these expectations: Up and on his second mug of coffee when father in law comes around 9 a.m. Helping father in law with the ways father in law needs him, till father in law calls it a day (usually around 3 p.m.) but if difficult child has something special planned and can't, it's okay, just to tell father in law beforehand so he can plan work so that difficult child's absence isn't a big inconvenience. No need to help with reno during evenings when me or husband are on it. I think that if he does not specially ask, I will let it up to air how much we will pay him, just say that we will pay him a little towards his and girlfriend's vacation trip. That way we can pay what we want, if we have to make a clear deal, we have to be more precise with the expectations too and I don't feel that is a good idea. [/QUOTE]
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