We all have to do what we feel is right at the time and we can and will make mistakes along the way.
Once I accepted that all I can do is give my son love but cannot change how he chooses to live his life, we both have gotten stronger.
I think there is nothing wrong with showing kindness to your addicted loved one. I think the problem lies when we let their addiction take over OUR lives.
My son is in recovery now and doing well but I have been down this path many times so am cautiously optimistic.
He is a plane ride away though so it makes it so much easier for us NOT to enable him. He is doing things for himself now and that empowers him and raises his self-esteem. It takes a lot of strength to do any of this. This is what worked best for our family.