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Substance Abuse
I Let the Camel Put His Toe in the Tent - And The Rest You Can Guess
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<blockquote data-quote="seek" data-source="post: 715049" data-attributes="member: 22002"><p>I take moral dilemmas quite seriously and only act if I feel in my gut it is right - and I also believe in the larger scheme of things there really are no mistakes. It's all learning. None of us is going to be here forever, so we just have to do the best we can do.</p><p></p><p>I personally think the word "enable" is too broadly applied. And that's another distinction each and every person must make.</p><p></p><p>When my grandson is sober (as he was when he left for work this morning), and has a plan (as he has to save money to go to sober living), then my "assistance" is by my definition, not "enabling." Enabling, to me, are those behaviors that keep someone in sickness and there is some payoff to the enabler. My only payoff is hoping that he COULD potentially get better - and if he relapses, I know I did the best I could at a certain point in time.</p><p></p><p>I don't know who decided that throwing sober relatives out on the street and never assisting them is the ONLY way to go - I do understand if someone is actively in addiction, or disrespectful in your space, or you don't want them in your space for whatever reason - those are all legitimate reasons to not take someone in - and oh, if you don't WANT to take them in, that's another good reason not to . . . but sober is different to me. There is no RX in Alanon that says you must throw people out on the street or leave them on the street - again, I understand why people MUST do that, it is just not a rule or law and no one really knows what is right for another person.</p><p></p><p>It's funny that someone above alluded to my "mistake." How can anyone judge that? What will make it a mistake? I will decide if and when I have had enough, or he will leave of his own volition. Our agreement right now is kind of short term - wait and see . . . he may not stay at all - who knows? I don't. I hope he does, because I hope he wants to stay sober, but I have no idea what he will do today or tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>I asked him why he drank the last time and he said "because I wanted to."</p><p></p><p>So, it really is "one day at a time." I am good with it today. I will leave tomorrow for tomorrow and cherish good days.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seek, post: 715049, member: 22002"] I take moral dilemmas quite seriously and only act if I feel in my gut it is right - and I also believe in the larger scheme of things there really are no mistakes. It's all learning. None of us is going to be here forever, so we just have to do the best we can do. I personally think the word "enable" is too broadly applied. And that's another distinction each and every person must make. When my grandson is sober (as he was when he left for work this morning), and has a plan (as he has to save money to go to sober living), then my "assistance" is by my definition, not "enabling." Enabling, to me, are those behaviors that keep someone in sickness and there is some payoff to the enabler. My only payoff is hoping that he COULD potentially get better - and if he relapses, I know I did the best I could at a certain point in time. I don't know who decided that throwing sober relatives out on the street and never assisting them is the ONLY way to go - I do understand if someone is actively in addiction, or disrespectful in your space, or you don't want them in your space for whatever reason - those are all legitimate reasons to not take someone in - and oh, if you don't WANT to take them in, that's another good reason not to . . . but sober is different to me. There is no RX in Alanon that says you must throw people out on the street or leave them on the street - again, I understand why people MUST do that, it is just not a rule or law and no one really knows what is right for another person. It's funny that someone above alluded to my "mistake." How can anyone judge that? What will make it a mistake? I will decide if and when I have had enough, or he will leave of his own volition. Our agreement right now is kind of short term - wait and see . . . he may not stay at all - who knows? I don't. I hope he does, because I hope he wants to stay sober, but I have no idea what he will do today or tomorrow. I asked him why he drank the last time and he said "because I wanted to." So, it really is "one day at a time." I am good with it today. I will leave tomorrow for tomorrow and cherish good days. [/QUOTE]
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I Let the Camel Put His Toe in the Tent - And The Rest You Can Guess
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