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Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 667076" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>My mom has a holy fixation on The Will, too.</p><p></p><p>I am sure everything will go to Walking With the Lord sister. She has worked very hard for it.</p><p></p><p>My mom has a fixation on being the last survivor of that generation. She is giddy when describing that she will be the one to tell the family story.</p><p></p><p>Giddy.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My D H, too. I am always slipping back into thinking I am not thinking about things honestly or correctly or something. </p><p></p><p>Now that I am healthier and D H is no longer required to host or visit my FOO, my D H describes his current situation as "unmuzzled".</p><p></p><p>He really was so mad about everything, but I could never see the wrongness in it or, if I did, I was always so sure they didn't mean it.</p><p></p><p>One of the phrases that described my healing where my younger sister is concerned is: "I believe you; I no longer believe in you."</p><p></p><p>And that's true.</p><p></p><p>The last conversation we did have, my sister was like, "But I love you!" I told her I loved her too; that I loved her too much to love her this way.</p><p></p><p>And that is true too except that just lately, I am not so sure I ever loved her at all. I wanted to, though.</p><p></p><p>So, I get credit for that, then.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the story is just so darn ugly it makes me feel weak, and I can hardly believe myself.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you have your brother and sister, all of you able to witness for one another. </p><p></p><p>Do you ever have that feeling? That surely these things cannot have happened as you remember them?</p><p></p><p>I had a really hard time with that, when we first began the FOO Chronicles.</p><p></p><p>We got me through it, though.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here with us too, Quicksand.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 667076, member: 17461"] My mom has a holy fixation on The Will, too. I am sure everything will go to Walking With the Lord sister. She has worked very hard for it. My mom has a fixation on being the last survivor of that generation. She is giddy when describing that she will be the one to tell the family story. Giddy. My D H, too. I am always slipping back into thinking I am not thinking about things honestly or correctly or something. Now that I am healthier and D H is no longer required to host or visit my FOO, my D H describes his current situation as "unmuzzled". He really was so mad about everything, but I could never see the wrongness in it or, if I did, I was always so sure they didn't mean it. One of the phrases that described my healing where my younger sister is concerned is: "I believe you; I no longer believe in you." And that's true. The last conversation we did have, my sister was like, "But I love you!" I told her I loved her too; that I loved her too much to love her this way. And that is true too except that just lately, I am not so sure I ever loved her at all. I wanted to, though. So, I get credit for that, then. Sometimes the story is just so darn ugly it makes me feel weak, and I can hardly believe myself. I am glad you have your brother and sister, all of you able to witness for one another. Do you ever have that feeling? That surely these things cannot have happened as you remember them? I had a really hard time with that, when we first began the FOO Chronicles. We got me through it, though. I am glad you are here with us too, Quicksand. :hugs: Cedar [/QUOTE]
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I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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