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Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Quicksand" data-source="post: 677656" data-attributes="member: 19405"><p>Cedar, so you and Copa are saying, love yourself as much as we love our children? Show myself that love?</p><p>At this time, the only way I can show love to my Difficult Child is to not enable his destruction of himself. Such a huge change for me/us.</p><p>He won't speak to us. I know he's out there using.</p><p>I have to keep the issue with my mother separate from me & Difficult Child. It's a coincidence that the pot is bubbling with her now as we deal with Difficult Child's chaos, as it has been at bay for a year.</p><p>Nothing more than that.</p><p>My son accused me of being just like her, but I reject that and I know he said that because I didn't offer to pay to fix the third car we bought for him after he smashed it. When we are giving him everything, then we are so supportive and he's so lucky because most people he knows get nothing from parents or they're alcoholics etc.-if the support stream dries up, we are child abusers. ---Yet--- I did harm my children, but in a different way. I overly doted and at times gave rewards without them earning it. I didn't mean to weaken them, I meant to show them I loved them unconditionally and that they had value. The things that I didn't recieve. I'm ashamed to admit it but my own low self esteem hurt my kids. I let them walk all over me. </p><p></p><p>I was scared to send the email, but I told myself that I don't have to answer her back if I don't want to. I haven't heard back from her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Quicksand, post: 677656, member: 19405"] Cedar, so you and Copa are saying, love yourself as much as we love our children? Show myself that love? At this time, the only way I can show love to my Difficult Child is to not enable his destruction of himself. Such a huge change for me/us. He won't speak to us. I know he's out there using. I have to keep the issue with my mother separate from me & Difficult Child. It's a coincidence that the pot is bubbling with her now as we deal with Difficult Child's chaos, as it has been at bay for a year. Nothing more than that. My son accused me of being just like her, but I reject that and I know he said that because I didn't offer to pay to fix the third car we bought for him after he smashed it. When we are giving him everything, then we are so supportive and he's so lucky because most people he knows get nothing from parents or they're alcoholics etc.-if the support stream dries up, we are child abusers. ---Yet--- I did harm my children, but in a different way. I overly doted and at times gave rewards without them earning it. I didn't mean to weaken them, I meant to show them I loved them unconditionally and that they had value. The things that I didn't recieve. I'm ashamed to admit it but my own low self esteem hurt my kids. I let them walk all over me. I was scared to send the email, but I told myself that I don't have to answer her back if I don't want to. I haven't heard back from her. [/QUOTE]
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I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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