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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 365100"><p>Rushing....</p><p>BUT....First of all, I"m so sorry. I can feel/hear/see your pain and sorrow. We are familiar with it.</p><p>It is profoundly hard, but your child is of an age where it is time to let go. Chances are, you didn't cause this and you certainly don't deserve this.</p><p>But, it is what it is.</p><p>If he needs specialized services and it wont hurt you to provide them, you might consider doing so. For example, continue paying for a psychiatrist, a therapist and/or occupational therapist. Is he seeing a medical doctor? Might medication be of some help? Do you think you might benefit from family therapy as an add-on? These are things to be considered.</p><p> </p><p><strong>However, at his age, he really needs to be doing what he can to move forward in life.</strong></p><p> </p><p>Have you personally considered therapy? This is JUST for YOU. All of this is NOT easy. There is no shame if the sorrow and stress gets to be 'over the top.' In the mean time, one thing you know for sure, there is hope for you. Hope to let this go, find what brings you joy and go for that....one day at a time....again, re-discover what YOU like to do, invest in yourself (you can count on YOU) and find joy.</p><p> </p><p>Check out Janet/Suz's detachment linkes.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile read the following:</p><p> </p><p>"Letting Go"</p><p>* To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.</p><p>* To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it's to make the most of myself.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.</p><p>* To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.</p><p>* To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.</p><p>* To "let go" is to fear less and love myself more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 365100"] Rushing.... BUT....First of all, I"m so sorry. I can feel/hear/see your pain and sorrow. We are familiar with it. It is profoundly hard, but your child is of an age where it is time to let go. Chances are, you didn't cause this and you certainly don't deserve this. But, it is what it is. If he needs specialized services and it wont hurt you to provide them, you might consider doing so. For example, continue paying for a psychiatrist, a therapist and/or occupational therapist. Is he seeing a medical doctor? Might medication be of some help? Do you think you might benefit from family therapy as an add-on? These are things to be considered. [B]However, at his age, he really needs to be doing what he can to move forward in life.[/B] Have you personally considered therapy? This is JUST for YOU. All of this is NOT easy. There is no shame if the sorrow and stress gets to be 'over the top.' In the mean time, one thing you know for sure, there is hope for you. Hope to let this go, find what brings you joy and go for that....one day at a time....again, re-discover what YOU like to do, invest in yourself (you can count on YOU) and find joy. Check out Janet/Suz's detachment linkes. Meanwhile read the following: "Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. * To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. * To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it's to make the most of myself. * To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about. * To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive. * To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. * To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. * To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality. * To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept. * To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. * To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be. * To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. * To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. * To "let go" is to fear less and love myself more. [/QUOTE]
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