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I made him leave.
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 677560" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>COPA- I have learned that you can try and find any logic or reason for what they say or do. It will drive you crazy if you try to go there. For years I would just turn things over and over in my head trying to understand how he could live this way, do things, lie to me, scam me, etc. </p><p></p><p>I have learned to just not go there. I listen, don't offer any advice anymore. I do provide instructions or tell him where to find resources to get this done or that done. I keep the conversations simple, don't react with knee-jerk emotion or replies. He has noticed the difference in our conversations and must say- has calmed down so much recently. But I am waiting with baited breath for the calm before the storm.</p><p></p><p>If he calls next time and wants to stay with you- be prepared. Expect him to show up late at night. Turn off your lights, go to bed early that night. Turn off your phone, put headsets on with some calming music to drawn out the door bell or phone or he banging on the door. </p><p>You have to be one step ahead of them. </p><p></p><p>You did well Grasshopper- keep the faith, keep strong, you are taking your life back one day, one event at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 677560, member: 19951"] COPA- I have learned that you can try and find any logic or reason for what they say or do. It will drive you crazy if you try to go there. For years I would just turn things over and over in my head trying to understand how he could live this way, do things, lie to me, scam me, etc. I have learned to just not go there. I listen, don't offer any advice anymore. I do provide instructions or tell him where to find resources to get this done or that done. I keep the conversations simple, don't react with knee-jerk emotion or replies. He has noticed the difference in our conversations and must say- has calmed down so much recently. But I am waiting with baited breath for the calm before the storm. If he calls next time and wants to stay with you- be prepared. Expect him to show up late at night. Turn off your lights, go to bed early that night. Turn off your phone, put headsets on with some calming music to drawn out the door bell or phone or he banging on the door. You have to be one step ahead of them. You did well Grasshopper- keep the faith, keep strong, you are taking your life back one day, one event at a time. [/QUOTE]
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