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I made him leave.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677577" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you everybody.</p><p>I was doing so good on the phone. I was progressing. I was setting strong limits and adhering to them. He was conforming to my limits.</p><p></p><p>Then he showed up at my door in the late night. It was rainy and cold. To his credit I think he did look for alternatives. Easy ones.</p><p></p><p>Once he was in the door he thought he was home free. Literally.</p><p></p><p>He was. Once he is in the door I lose my power. Then chaos reigns. I knew I was losing. I tried to recoup. Once he is here, one hundred percent of my energy goes to setting limits. It is like phone calls from him every minute. And every minute in my own house I am working, frantically, like a treadmill trying to maintain, losing ground every minute because there is no keeping up with him. Because once he has a foot in the door he feels he has won and he can dominate.</p><p></p><p>There was no one thing that was so bad. It was<em><strong> everything</strong></em>.</p><p>One of the things that makes me the most crazy is his belief system which evolves around conspiracy theories. The fundamental idea is that a powerful elite or cabal rules the world that are descendants of a mating of reptiles and martians.</p><p></p><p>I cannot bear hearing one word about it. I think at the basis, my repulsion stems from my fear that he must truly be a fruitcake to believe in something so nutty.</p><p></p><p>M tells me that the only way I will have a chance with him is to accept the way that he is. Not that I betray myself but in the sense that I do not deny the essential truth about him, of him.</p><p></p><p>Which is of course exactly where I try to go: the river called de nile.</p><p></p><p>Thank you very much.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677577, member: 18958"] Thank you everybody. I was doing so good on the phone. I was progressing. I was setting strong limits and adhering to them. He was conforming to my limits. Then he showed up at my door in the late night. It was rainy and cold. To his credit I think he did look for alternatives. Easy ones. Once he was in the door he thought he was home free. Literally. He was. Once he is in the door I lose my power. Then chaos reigns. I knew I was losing. I tried to recoup. Once he is here, one hundred percent of my energy goes to setting limits. It is like phone calls from him every minute. And every minute in my own house I am working, frantically, like a treadmill trying to maintain, losing ground every minute because there is no keeping up with him. Because once he has a foot in the door he feels he has won and he can dominate. There was no one thing that was so bad. It was[I][B] everything[/B][/I]. One of the things that makes me the most crazy is his belief system which evolves around conspiracy theories. The fundamental idea is that a powerful elite or cabal rules the world that are descendants of a mating of reptiles and martians. I cannot bear hearing one word about it. I think at the basis, my repulsion stems from my fear that he must truly be a fruitcake to believe in something so nutty. M tells me that the only way I will have a chance with him is to accept the way that he is. Not that I betray myself but in the sense that I do not deny the essential truth about him, of him. Which is of course exactly where I try to go: the river called de nile. Thank you very much. COPA [/QUOTE]
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