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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 289091" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>That's exactly what I told the court. The GAL wanted difficult child told right away- by those of us in court and I said no way- that's when the mst guy jumped in and said no, as well, and the judge seemed to agree. As you know though- that gal is not that bright on how to handle family and mental health issues. But, someone- maybe even the GAL- did bring up the point that difficult child needed to understand my concern for him before he is grown. 1- so he could protect himself by watching/being aware what bro could do and 2- so he could gradually accept that these people are not the saints he thought they were and then get slammed with a heartache by finding out differently someday.</p><p></p><p>As I told the court, if I had any idea that my bro would have started crosiing inappropriate boundaries with my son instead of his attempt with me as a kid being a one-time incident, I never would have involved him in difficult child's life to begin with. It was hard enough to accept that when I started seeing him do that. But, I have already relayed all that to the board before- just bringing it up for the benefit of those who weren't aware and who wonder why I ever let my bro around my son to begin with.</p><p></p><p>I do think there is a valid point in there and something on the list to discuss with a therapist when/if one ever gets on board that does family therapy with us. Of course, it isn't the first item on the list, but one that needs to be addressed at some point.</p><p></p><p>As far as my mother and bro- yeah- that one I guess I shouold just keep pushing that out of my mind. If it's ever going to be an answered question or dealt with, it would have to be my bro remembering and acknowledging it, not me. Lord knows, my mom would never admit it. She won't even own up to the things that she KNOWS I know she did. She just lies about them- and people believe her.</p><p></p><p>Janet- I agree that previous abuse is something you learn to live with and manage- it's never like getting a divorce where it's all forgotten a year later and never effects you again. Particularly when it's family memebers and a a very dysfunctional family. The dysfunction is always something that needs to be addressed so it isn't passed down to another generation, in as much as possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 289091, member: 3699"] That's exactly what I told the court. The GAL wanted difficult child told right away- by those of us in court and I said no way- that's when the mst guy jumped in and said no, as well, and the judge seemed to agree. As you know though- that gal is not that bright on how to handle family and mental health issues. But, someone- maybe even the GAL- did bring up the point that difficult child needed to understand my concern for him before he is grown. 1- so he could protect himself by watching/being aware what bro could do and 2- so he could gradually accept that these people are not the saints he thought they were and then get slammed with a heartache by finding out differently someday. As I told the court, if I had any idea that my bro would have started crosiing inappropriate boundaries with my son instead of his attempt with me as a kid being a one-time incident, I never would have involved him in difficult child's life to begin with. It was hard enough to accept that when I started seeing him do that. But, I have already relayed all that to the board before- just bringing it up for the benefit of those who weren't aware and who wonder why I ever let my bro around my son to begin with. I do think there is a valid point in there and something on the list to discuss with a therapist when/if one ever gets on board that does family therapy with us. Of course, it isn't the first item on the list, but one that needs to be addressed at some point. As far as my mother and bro- yeah- that one I guess I shouold just keep pushing that out of my mind. If it's ever going to be an answered question or dealt with, it would have to be my bro remembering and acknowledging it, not me. Lord knows, my mom would never admit it. She won't even own up to the things that she KNOWS I know she did. She just lies about them- and people believe her. Janet- I agree that previous abuse is something you learn to live with and manage- it's never like getting a divorce where it's all forgotten a year later and never effects you again. Particularly when it's family memebers and a a very dysfunctional family. The dysfunction is always something that needs to be addressed so it isn't passed down to another generation, in as much as possible. [/QUOTE]
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