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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 654933" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This could be it, SWOT.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am happy my sister is taking care of my mother. She sees to be happy there. She continues to go back there. I would still be involved in summer care, but there was that last time my mother hung up on me.</p><p></p><p>And all at once, I am like...no, I think I will not start talking to her now that we both are back in the same area because she will be lonely if I don't.</p><p></p><p>Bad Cedar.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">F you, mom.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/mcsmiley1.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":mcsmiley1:" title="mcsmiley1 :mcsmiley1:" data-shortname=":mcsmiley1:" /></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>She actually said something like that to my mother, when she was justifying her feelings about my mother's involvement with the man she was going to marry after my father's death.</p><p></p><p>That she had never had a mother.</p><p></p><p>So here is my question: Do I allow compassion for her to enter into this picture.</p><p></p><p>Compassion for my sister, for the pain of all of it. We are all so confused. I can see where that could be the rationale for all of it. No other sibs allowed would make sense, in that context.</p><p></p><p>And my sister really did explode over my bringing up the pact, and that she needed to contact my brother once a month by email or phone or something, so he would know how his mother was.</p><p></p><p>That would make sense.</p><p></p><p>I feel badly for her, now.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Okay. But my feeling badly about what happened to all of us and about what that has always cost us and is still costing us today does not mean that what is happening is a different thing than I had figured it out to be.</p><p></p><p>Wise, and wary.</p><p></p><p>No one needs me, now. That is an ego position, that I could have changed anything. My nurturing is not what anyone needed, and it will not heal anyone, now.</p><p></p><p>We all did need a mother.</p><p></p><p>We do not have one.</p><p></p><p>Alone is better than practicing, swallowing, smiling through hate.</p><p></p><p>I can see the win now, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>I do feel badly for my sister.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 654933, member: 17461"] This could be it, SWOT. I am happy my sister is taking care of my mother. She sees to be happy there. She continues to go back there. I would still be involved in summer care, but there was that last time my mother hung up on me. And all at once, I am like...no, I think I will not start talking to her now that we both are back in the same area because she will be lonely if I don't. Bad Cedar. [SIZE=2]F you, mom.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]:mcsmiley1:[/SIZE] She actually said something like that to my mother, when she was justifying her feelings about my mother's involvement with the man she was going to marry after my father's death. That she had never had a mother. So here is my question: Do I allow compassion for her to enter into this picture. Compassion for my sister, for the pain of all of it. We are all so confused. I can see where that could be the rationale for all of it. No other sibs allowed would make sense, in that context. And my sister really did explode over my bringing up the pact, and that she needed to contact my brother once a month by email or phone or something, so he would know how his mother was. That would make sense. I feel badly for her, now. Cedar Okay. But my feeling badly about what happened to all of us and about what that has always cost us and is still costing us today does not mean that what is happening is a different thing than I had figured it out to be. Wise, and wary. No one needs me, now. That is an ego position, that I could have changed anything. My nurturing is not what anyone needed, and it will not heal anyone, now. We all did need a mother. We do not have one. Alone is better than practicing, swallowing, smiling through hate. I can see the win now, SWOT. I do feel badly for my sister. [/QUOTE]
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I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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