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I need a little help
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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful Heart" data-source="post: 66542" data-attributes="member: 3970"><p>Jen: I am new to this site but have much experience with adhd and opositional defiant disorder with my 16 year old son. You might want to stop and think about yourself for a minute. Think about your life and what kind of person you are. It sounds to me like you have done all you can for this child. I believe that to keep him any longer in an environment with loved ones who cannot help him any further is prolonging his suffering. It may be very likely that this child needs much more than you and your husband can give him. I know you may be afraid of adding an abandonment issue to his long list of troubles, but at this point you may need to just take the stand that you have done all that you can do. Maybe the system can arrange for you to visit this child and follow his achievements. This will help you in knowing that you are still part of the journey but from a safe distance to help both the child and your marriage. This way you and your husband can get on with your lives and not lose each other in the mix. Your husband may be much more cooperative at a distance from the turmoil of constant failure. He may even become interested n the childs progress himself. It's the failure he cannot take as he cannot "fix" this childs problems. ( A normal response for most males.) I applaud you both for going this far with love and concern in your heart. It may be time to let God have a hand at this child. There is no room for guilt if you have done your best. Good Luck to Jen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful Heart, post: 66542, member: 3970"] Jen: I am new to this site but have much experience with adhd and opositional defiant disorder with my 16 year old son. You might want to stop and think about yourself for a minute. Think about your life and what kind of person you are. It sounds to me like you have done all you can for this child. I believe that to keep him any longer in an environment with loved ones who cannot help him any further is prolonging his suffering. It may be very likely that this child needs much more than you and your husband can give him. I know you may be afraid of adding an abandonment issue to his long list of troubles, but at this point you may need to just take the stand that you have done all that you can do. Maybe the system can arrange for you to visit this child and follow his achievements. This will help you in knowing that you are still part of the journey but from a safe distance to help both the child and your marriage. This way you and your husband can get on with your lives and not lose each other in the mix. Your husband may be much more cooperative at a distance from the turmoil of constant failure. He may even become interested n the childs progress himself. It's the failure he cannot take as he cannot "fix" this childs problems. ( A normal response for most males.) I applaud you both for going this far with love and concern in your heart. It may be time to let God have a hand at this child. There is no room for guilt if you have done your best. Good Luck to Jen. [/QUOTE]
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