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I need better/different words to explain why Dad is gone
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 435549" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It sounds like you are doing great and Running's suggestion is a good addition.</p><p> </p><p>If you stop to think about it, her pushing and pushing and pushing for answers is common in EVERYTHING our kids do. She is accepting what you are telling her but she wants more details. Then when you do give her another level of details, she will push for more. I think that is one reason we get weary, that constant push for why, why, why, of EVERYTHING we say.</p><p> </p><p>It would be so easier if kids would trust us when we tell them that time will provide the answers when they are ready for them.</p><p> </p><p>I think you need to call therapist's office back and try to get that next appointment sooner. Ask to be put on a waiting list or something. That appointment will give you strength in sticking to your own plan and not be "beaten down" emotionally by her questions to give up and spill the beans.</p><p> </p><p>It is really hard for kids to understand that parents are human. I remember thinking that by the time you are a grown up you were always doing the right thing. I am getting so discouraged by the wrong doings of government leaders, the unethical practices of business leaders because I grew up believing they were doing the best for everyone, they were looking out for everyone because they were adults. Now I know they are human and greedy and are often times just out for theirselves. Not all of them of course but enough to pop my bubble of that image of how the world works in real life.</p><p> </p><p>It is hard for kids to grasp that concept that adults do struggle to make good choices.</p><p> </p><p>"Dad and I disagree on something that is too important for me to continue to allow him to do. I really believe that he is hurting himself and that in turn hurts all of us. He is unable to see the results of his actions. He and I both hate that he is unable to see you more often. We both love you very much. I hope one day he will be able to understand what is really happening in his own life and see that it is not what he wants for you. It is too hard to explain it to you right now. One day when you are ready for the information, we will talk about it. You just have to trust me when I say that Dad doesn't like being away. He misses you just as much as you miss him."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 435549, member: 5096"] It sounds like you are doing great and Running's suggestion is a good addition. If you stop to think about it, her pushing and pushing and pushing for answers is common in EVERYTHING our kids do. She is accepting what you are telling her but she wants more details. Then when you do give her another level of details, she will push for more. I think that is one reason we get weary, that constant push for why, why, why, of EVERYTHING we say. It would be so easier if kids would trust us when we tell them that time will provide the answers when they are ready for them. I think you need to call therapist's office back and try to get that next appointment sooner. Ask to be put on a waiting list or something. That appointment will give you strength in sticking to your own plan and not be "beaten down" emotionally by her questions to give up and spill the beans. It is really hard for kids to understand that parents are human. I remember thinking that by the time you are a grown up you were always doing the right thing. I am getting so discouraged by the wrong doings of government leaders, the unethical practices of business leaders because I grew up believing they were doing the best for everyone, they were looking out for everyone because they were adults. Now I know they are human and greedy and are often times just out for theirselves. Not all of them of course but enough to pop my bubble of that image of how the world works in real life. It is hard for kids to grasp that concept that adults do struggle to make good choices. "Dad and I disagree on something that is too important for me to continue to allow him to do. I really believe that he is hurting himself and that in turn hurts all of us. He is unable to see the results of his actions. He and I both hate that he is unable to see you more often. We both love you very much. I hope one day he will be able to understand what is really happening in his own life and see that it is not what he wants for you. It is too hard to explain it to you right now. One day when you are ready for the information, we will talk about it. You just have to trust me when I say that Dad doesn't like being away. He misses you just as much as you miss him." [/QUOTE]
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I need better/different words to explain why Dad is gone
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