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I need help!! Explosive Child (sorry so long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 170091" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. We can help. For a lot of us, this sounds very familiar. It is not your fault. It is not his fault necessarily, either. You are doing the right things but they are not working because for him, the right way is a different way.</p><p></p><p>The book will help, but you need to get him evaluated as well. The neuropsychologist suggestion is one of the best.</p><p></p><p>Sheila is right when she says there can be a number of different causes. Keep her list in mind, but also add to it - Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form. Asperger's springs to mind, but nothing can be diagnosed by us on this site because that's not how it works. You can't get a diagnosis without getting a relevant expert to do a thorough assessment.</p><p></p><p>Something to think about and to maybe check out informally - look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a> and see how it scores for your son. Remember, this cannot be considered diagnostic. However, you can print out the result and take it to a medical appointment for your son and see what they say. At least it shows the person you're seeing, the sort of things about your son that concern you.</p><p></p><p>YOu say about your son, "He will go up to children he doesn't know and talk to them; he will also play independently and has a very long attention span (always has)" and that he has good social skills. I must point out that at age 5 (almost 6) you still can't be sure, because we all define "social skills" differently. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids, Aspie kids etc are not always withdrawn or socially clumsy. But they CAN be outgoing and socially inappropriate. difficult child 3 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 would go up to a total stranger and tell our entire family history. If I had a drinking or drug problem, the entire town would know.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child 3 was aged 5, he had a number of friends who would come round for play-dates. He had friends who sought him out because they liked him and got on well with him. But as he got older, the social gulf between him and his peers widened.</p><p></p><p>We had family & friends insistent there was nothing wrong with him, but it's been getting increasingly obvious that he has difficulties to overcome. </p><p></p><p>However, what hasn't changed for difficult child 3 - he is bright. Very bright. Scarily so. Anything technical - he knows exactly how it works at the first contact. In a family of technically-minded, intelligent people, this kid stands out as a beacon.</p><p></p><p>Example: I asked husband to put on a batch of bread dough so I could make pizza for him today. He asked what recipe; I said to use the same one I use for a standard white loaf and to use the dough setting on the bread machine.</p><p>I finally got home an hour later just as the dough finished. It didn't look right. husband said, "That's because difficult child 3 showed me that we had a specific pizza dough setting on this, so that's what I used."</p><p>husband showed me. To get to the pizza dough setting, I had to bypass a few more buttons; it was like finding one of those hidden "easter eggs" on a DVD. Not immediately obvious at all.</p><p>So how did difficult child 3 know about it? He NEVER uses the bread machine! But not only did he know, but he was alert enough to realise what his father was doing, and then come and step in to help him do it even better.</p><p></p><p>husband is a computer troubleshooter at his work. But he is being eclipsed by his younger son. difficult child 3 now asks questions husband can't answer. And then will find the answers husband has difficulty even understanding.</p><p></p><p>There can be positive sides to having a difficult child!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 170091, member: 1991"] Welcome. We can help. For a lot of us, this sounds very familiar. It is not your fault. It is not his fault necessarily, either. You are doing the right things but they are not working because for him, the right way is a different way. The book will help, but you need to get him evaluated as well. The neuropsychologist suggestion is one of the best. Sheila is right when she says there can be a number of different causes. Keep her list in mind, but also add to it - Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form. Asperger's springs to mind, but nothing can be diagnosed by us on this site because that's not how it works. You can't get a diagnosis without getting a relevant expert to do a thorough assessment. Something to think about and to maybe check out informally - look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on [url]www.childbrain.com[/url] and see how it scores for your son. Remember, this cannot be considered diagnostic. However, you can print out the result and take it to a medical appointment for your son and see what they say. At least it shows the person you're seeing, the sort of things about your son that concern you. YOu say about your son, "He will go up to children he doesn't know and talk to them; he will also play independently and has a very long attention span (always has)" and that he has good social skills. I must point out that at age 5 (almost 6) you still can't be sure, because we all define "social skills" differently. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids, Aspie kids etc are not always withdrawn or socially clumsy. But they CAN be outgoing and socially inappropriate. difficult child 3 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 would go up to a total stranger and tell our entire family history. If I had a drinking or drug problem, the entire town would know. When difficult child 3 was aged 5, he had a number of friends who would come round for play-dates. He had friends who sought him out because they liked him and got on well with him. But as he got older, the social gulf between him and his peers widened. We had family & friends insistent there was nothing wrong with him, but it's been getting increasingly obvious that he has difficulties to overcome. However, what hasn't changed for difficult child 3 - he is bright. Very bright. Scarily so. Anything technical - he knows exactly how it works at the first contact. In a family of technically-minded, intelligent people, this kid stands out as a beacon. Example: I asked husband to put on a batch of bread dough so I could make pizza for him today. He asked what recipe; I said to use the same one I use for a standard white loaf and to use the dough setting on the bread machine. I finally got home an hour later just as the dough finished. It didn't look right. husband said, "That's because difficult child 3 showed me that we had a specific pizza dough setting on this, so that's what I used." husband showed me. To get to the pizza dough setting, I had to bypass a few more buttons; it was like finding one of those hidden "easter eggs" on a DVD. Not immediately obvious at all. So how did difficult child 3 know about it? He NEVER uses the bread machine! But not only did he know, but he was alert enough to realise what his father was doing, and then come and step in to help him do it even better. husband is a computer troubleshooter at his work. But he is being eclipsed by his younger son. difficult child 3 now asks questions husband can't answer. And then will find the answers husband has difficulty even understanding. There can be positive sides to having a difficult child! Marg [/QUOTE]
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