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I need legal advice regarding father in law's estate- PLEASE
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 449984" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I understand, Janet. Just based on my personal experience it seems as people age they either want to avoid preparations (maybe because they can't face the idea of aging and dying) <strong>or </strong>parents (in particular Mothers) either write or ask their kids "what do you want?" Most kids respond with "it doesn't matter" or "I'll think about it and we can talk later" because they don't want to face that their parent is even thinking about death. I'm an old people now but twenty years ago or so I can't tell you how many of my friends said "Omg, guess what Mom's focused on now?" Yeah. It's a weird situation. Probably the most common response is "let's not worry about that now there's plenty of time later". Not. </p><p></p><p>Three times I have been in charge of affairs after death. The last one was my delightful elderly friend who lived next door. She and her Ca. daughter begged me to take on the job of hadnling her affairs. I tried over and over again to beg out because she had two other children who had never even met me. The adult children rarely visitd her and the one who lived in Florida visited at most twice a year for one day or two. Sigh! So I said I would do it <strong>only </strong>if everyone agreed and most importantly if every personal item was identified as "going to" a specific person. For over two years I visisted her at least twice a week. I kept up the pace when she was in a nursing home 25 miles away, I sold her house for her to save the real estate commission, I had all the valuables distributed when the house was sold to the designated family members. I truly cared for her as if she were my Mom. I brought her laundry home and returned it clean to her weekly as she didn't want her things mixed in with other peoples. Yet when she began to fail her granddaughter flew into town and stayed with her most of the last two weeks. She did not like me. She resented that my neighbor admired and "loved" me. Within a few days of her death her loving granddaughter called me and accused me of stealing and unduly influencing my friend. She even threatened to call the Sheriff's office and report me. She did call the Attorney and ask him what he could do. His reply "I have always found Mrs. DDD to be honest, caring and supportive and she is the designated appointee."</p><p></p><p>That long story proved to me that death brings out the worst in people. It caused me embarrssment as the granddaughter shared her "take" with people in this community that were friends of her Gram. Money and belongings are a "hot" issue. Emotional response is even "hotter". My friend and I thought we had it all covered so there would be no issues...there still were. Sometimes I think the only way to avoid pain is to sell everything, pay the expenses and then divide the results equally. DDD</p><p></p><p>PS: I know it is even more difficult when there is a second spouse involved. If we had alot of valuables I am sure that even after all these years at least one of my steps would feel slighted. There may be an advantage to having little.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 449984, member: 35"] I understand, Janet. Just based on my personal experience it seems as people age they either want to avoid preparations (maybe because they can't face the idea of aging and dying) [B]or [/B]parents (in particular Mothers) either write or ask their kids "what do you want?" Most kids respond with "it doesn't matter" or "I'll think about it and we can talk later" because they don't want to face that their parent is even thinking about death. I'm an old people now but twenty years ago or so I can't tell you how many of my friends said "Omg, guess what Mom's focused on now?" Yeah. It's a weird situation. Probably the most common response is "let's not worry about that now there's plenty of time later". Not. Three times I have been in charge of affairs after death. The last one was my delightful elderly friend who lived next door. She and her Ca. daughter begged me to take on the job of hadnling her affairs. I tried over and over again to beg out because she had two other children who had never even met me. The adult children rarely visitd her and the one who lived in Florida visited at most twice a year for one day or two. Sigh! So I said I would do it [B]only [/B]if everyone agreed and most importantly if every personal item was identified as "going to" a specific person. For over two years I visisted her at least twice a week. I kept up the pace when she was in a nursing home 25 miles away, I sold her house for her to save the real estate commission, I had all the valuables distributed when the house was sold to the designated family members. I truly cared for her as if she were my Mom. I brought her laundry home and returned it clean to her weekly as she didn't want her things mixed in with other peoples. Yet when she began to fail her granddaughter flew into town and stayed with her most of the last two weeks. She did not like me. She resented that my neighbor admired and "loved" me. Within a few days of her death her loving granddaughter called me and accused me of stealing and unduly influencing my friend. She even threatened to call the Sheriff's office and report me. She did call the Attorney and ask him what he could do. His reply "I have always found Mrs. DDD to be honest, caring and supportive and she is the designated appointee." That long story proved to me that death brings out the worst in people. It caused me embarrssment as the granddaughter shared her "take" with people in this community that were friends of her Gram. Money and belongings are a "hot" issue. Emotional response is even "hotter". My friend and I thought we had it all covered so there would be no issues...there still were. Sometimes I think the only way to avoid pain is to sell everything, pay the expenses and then divide the results equally. DDD PS: I know it is even more difficult when there is a second spouse involved. If we had alot of valuables I am sure that even after all these years at least one of my steps would feel slighted. There may be an advantage to having little. [/QUOTE]
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I need legal advice regarding father in law's estate- PLEASE
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