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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740224" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. Just over two years ago I bought a fixer upper house that has a second unit over the garage. The idea was to fix up that apartment which backs up to an alley in the back of the property for him to live with roommates or alone, if that could work. </p><p></p><p>He has lived there during two different stints. I would say, he lived there a year all together. The neighbors loved him. But he refused to pay rent, wanting to use all of his SSI money for marijuana. Eventually, we held he line, and said leave. That was the place he was squatting in the yard. </p><p></p><p>I became terrorized and traumatized. My help has only helped him destroy himself more. A few years ago, he was doing more or less okay, when he was helping M work. But it drove M crazy as my son never really tried. But the structure helped. And he was living in my house. And the constant vigilance helped. But he never accepted our rules. He never stopped the marijuana and whatever else he uses.</p><p></p><p> My son told neighbors of the other house that he was going to make us evict him and deliberately received mail there with the idea of making a case. It is amazing how they can turn help and care, into an adversarial relationship. </p><p></p><p>I put into the text screen the offer, and could not bear to send it. It felt like I was walking a plank. I am not fit to have him close to me. If I tell the truth, that is it. I wanted to show him love. It seems I cannot.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Elsi. I may still do it. Just throw in the towel. I am not strong enough to deal with this. I started fantasizing about leaving the country. Which is doable. I would just leave, I think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740224, member: 18958"] Yes. Just over two years ago I bought a fixer upper house that has a second unit over the garage. The idea was to fix up that apartment which backs up to an alley in the back of the property for him to live with roommates or alone, if that could work. He has lived there during two different stints. I would say, he lived there a year all together. The neighbors loved him. But he refused to pay rent, wanting to use all of his SSI money for marijuana. Eventually, we held he line, and said leave. That was the place he was squatting in the yard. I became terrorized and traumatized. My help has only helped him destroy himself more. A few years ago, he was doing more or less okay, when he was helping M work. But it drove M crazy as my son never really tried. But the structure helped. And he was living in my house. And the constant vigilance helped. But he never accepted our rules. He never stopped the marijuana and whatever else he uses. My son told neighbors of the other house that he was going to make us evict him and deliberately received mail there with the idea of making a case. It is amazing how they can turn help and care, into an adversarial relationship. I put into the text screen the offer, and could not bear to send it. It felt like I was walking a plank. I am not fit to have him close to me. If I tell the truth, that is it. I wanted to show him love. It seems I cannot. Thank you Elsi. I may still do it. Just throw in the towel. I am not strong enough to deal with this. I started fantasizing about leaving the country. Which is doable. I would just leave, I think. [/QUOTE]
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