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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740226" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you, TL. I agree with you.</p><p>Me too. He is always the one to weaken. And then he says he did it for me. </p><p></p><p>I told him:<em> I don't think I can take it. I am traumatized. I am terrorized. I don't think I have the strength. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>He said: <em>You can't have it both ways. Either help him. Or let him be. And don't suffer so.</em></p><p>I do too. I sure felt like <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />.</p><p></p><p>I was a loving mother. We had a loving relationship. This is a nightmare. A long nightmare that keeps getting worse.</p><p></p><p>I do not know the answers here. This last week or so here on the forum we got to the place of love with our kids, that wasn't enabling and wasn't controlling and conditional. And I wanted to show love.</p><p></p><p>Whack.</p><p></p><p>I am remembering what I wrote to you, New Leaf. When your daughter wrote that mean letter from jail. I told you to cut her loose. That it was unsafe to have any contact with her. That she had no sense of responsibility. And did not see you as a human being with feelings. She saw you as an It. Not a "thou." And how can you have a real relationship with somebody who sees you as an it, and object. Or even subject yourself to that kind of treatment with an open heart.</p><p></p><p>I made a mistake when I texted him to change his address. We were having a couple of nice texts before that. He even accepted "no" he could not come home.</p><p></p><p>The thing is now he is surely without money to buy dope. So he is "unmedicated." </p><p></p><p>My son has to know in his heart that he can come back if he is clean. He does not want to be clean. And there it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740226, member: 18958"] Thank you, TL. I agree with you. Me too. He is always the one to weaken. And then he says he did it for me. I told him:[I] I don't think I can take it. I am traumatized. I am terrorized. I don't think I have the strength. [/I] He said: [I]You can't have it both ways. Either help him. Or let him be. And don't suffer so.[/I] I do too. I sure felt like :censored2:. I was a loving mother. We had a loving relationship. This is a nightmare. A long nightmare that keeps getting worse. I do not know the answers here. This last week or so here on the forum we got to the place of love with our kids, that wasn't enabling and wasn't controlling and conditional. And I wanted to show love. Whack. I am remembering what I wrote to you, New Leaf. When your daughter wrote that mean letter from jail. I told you to cut her loose. That it was unsafe to have any contact with her. That she had no sense of responsibility. And did not see you as a human being with feelings. She saw you as an It. Not a "thou." And how can you have a real relationship with somebody who sees you as an it, and object. Or even subject yourself to that kind of treatment with an open heart. I made a mistake when I texted him to change his address. We were having a couple of nice texts before that. He even accepted "no" he could not come home. The thing is now he is surely without money to buy dope. So he is "unmedicated." My son has to know in his heart that he can come back if he is clean. He does not want to be clean. And there it is. [/QUOTE]
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