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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740302" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Smithmom. Question: Do I keep writing even if he does not respond? Do I limit myself to once a day? Do I keep making suggestions even if he is not answering back? Or just tell him good morning, and that I love him. And leave it at that? I have never done this before.</p><p></p><p>Today his response is again, something like, forget about me. We're done. (Let me find the text.)</p><p></p><p>After saying good morning and that I loved him I told him about the somatic therapy I want to and how I thought it might be something that would help him.</p><p></p><p>He responded: <em> Can't happen while I am in this situation. Please leave me alone. We're not connected anymore. I'm at the bottom of the Pacific. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I wrote back: I reminded him of a song he liked when he was little, <u>Under the Sea</u>, from<u> The Little Mermaid</u>. And while I could not control what he chose, I would stay connected and I loved him. </p><p></p><p>I fear he may be blocking me.</p><p></p><p>I wrote: <em>What will get us connected again?</em></p><p></p><p>And later: <em>Everybody starts where they are.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I guess I am getting desperate. This empowers him. That I beg. </p><p></p><p>If I look at it from the point of view you suggested, empowering him is not a bad thing. <em>As long as I stay centered in myself.</em></p><p><em>____</em></p><p></p><p>This is very hard. When we made my son leave, he was violating boundaries all over the place. I had to call the police over and over again. I became traumatized and afraid. When he finally left our town I began to feel safe again, and centered in myself for the first time in a long time. I have a history of abuse, like so many. I do not think that I am afraid of my son; but when he does not take responsibility for himself, his actions, and violates boundaries i get triggered. </p><p></p><p>In a text a few days ago, after I reached out, he used the word "confused." I think he is confused that I am reaching out. And does not know how to deal with me, if I am not going to solve his problems. </p><p></p><p>While I do not think my son blames me for his situation or his troubles, I think he uses blaming and meanness to feel control over himself. I agree with you. It is a defense mechanism. One that I do not begrudge him.</p><p></p><p>I have resentment toward my son for sinking so low. That is the truth.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740302, member: 18958"] Smithmom. Question: Do I keep writing even if he does not respond? Do I limit myself to once a day? Do I keep making suggestions even if he is not answering back? Or just tell him good morning, and that I love him. And leave it at that? I have never done this before. Today his response is again, something like, forget about me. We're done. (Let me find the text.) After saying good morning and that I loved him I told him about the somatic therapy I want to and how I thought it might be something that would help him. He responded: [I] Can't happen while I am in this situation. Please leave me alone. We're not connected anymore. I'm at the bottom of the Pacific. [/I] I wrote back: I reminded him of a song he liked when he was little, [U]Under the Sea[/U], from[U] The Little Mermaid[/U]. And while I could not control what he chose, I would stay connected and I loved him. I fear he may be blocking me. I wrote: [I]What will get us connected again?[/I] And later: [I]Everybody starts where they are. [/I] I guess I am getting desperate. This empowers him. That I beg. If I look at it from the point of view you suggested, empowering him is not a bad thing. [I]As long as I stay centered in myself. ____[/I] This is very hard. When we made my son leave, he was violating boundaries all over the place. I had to call the police over and over again. I became traumatized and afraid. When he finally left our town I began to feel safe again, and centered in myself for the first time in a long time. I have a history of abuse, like so many. I do not think that I am afraid of my son; but when he does not take responsibility for himself, his actions, and violates boundaries i get triggered. In a text a few days ago, after I reached out, he used the word "confused." I think he is confused that I am reaching out. And does not know how to deal with me, if I am not going to solve his problems. While I do not think my son blames me for his situation or his troubles, I think he uses blaming and meanness to feel control over himself. I agree with you. It is a defense mechanism. One that I do not begrudge him. I have resentment toward my son for sinking so low. That is the truth. Thank you. [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
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