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I need to be tied to the mast.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740364" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you everybody. Thank you for sharing your story and hugs back to you, Nature. Thank you TL. It is helpful to know how you are thinking and responding. I am doing the same.</p><p></p><p>Smithmom. <em>What would a plan look like?</em> I mean I know what is a plan, but in this context, I do not know. I am thinking a plan needs to start with an intention, for myself, not him, and should begin with a desire, something I want that is attainable.</p><p></p><p>Maybe such an intention would be to demonstrate my desire to be connected to him. But that seems to have rubbed him the wrong way.</p><p></p><p>I need to have respect for what he says. I agree that what he writes to me could be functional, for him. But at the same time he is a man. Like Kalahou says, he is a man, who is making very clear he does not want a reciprocal relationship with me right now. Do I keep forcing myself on him?</p><p> </p><p>This seems like a lack of respect on my part, and a not listening.</p><p></p><p>Maybe the intention could be something like staying present in myself. To stay attached to my own day. My own body. My own thoughts and needs. Maybe a respectful plan would be contacting him every 4 or 5 days and writing <em>I love you. </em>This asks for nothing. And it is rooted in me.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if he is blocking me.</p><p></p><p>I cannot remember a time like this. He is saying really: <em>Get out of my life. I don't want you in it. Now.</em></p><p></p><p>It felt comfortable to me to back off completely, which I was doing for a couple of months, while he was homeless. That felt comfortable, until, in response to the recent threads that discussed loving connection without expectation, I began to wake up; my love began to wake up. I feel more confused again.</p><p></p><p>Thank you everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740364, member: 18958"] Thank you everybody. Thank you for sharing your story and hugs back to you, Nature. Thank you TL. It is helpful to know how you are thinking and responding. I am doing the same. Smithmom. [I]What would a plan look like?[/I] I mean I know what is a plan, but in this context, I do not know. I am thinking a plan needs to start with an intention, for myself, not him, and should begin with a desire, something I want that is attainable. Maybe such an intention would be to demonstrate my desire to be connected to him. But that seems to have rubbed him the wrong way. I need to have respect for what he says. I agree that what he writes to me could be functional, for him. But at the same time he is a man. Like Kalahou says, he is a man, who is making very clear he does not want a reciprocal relationship with me right now. Do I keep forcing myself on him? This seems like a lack of respect on my part, and a not listening. Maybe the intention could be something like staying present in myself. To stay attached to my own day. My own body. My own thoughts and needs. Maybe a respectful plan would be contacting him every 4 or 5 days and writing [I]I love you. [/I]This asks for nothing. And it is rooted in me. I don't know if he is blocking me. I cannot remember a time like this. He is saying really: [I]Get out of my life. I don't want you in it. Now.[/I] It felt comfortable to me to back off completely, which I was doing for a couple of months, while he was homeless. That felt comfortable, until, in response to the recent threads that discussed loving connection without expectation, I began to wake up; my love began to wake up. I feel more confused again. Thank you everybody. [/QUOTE]
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