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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 740490" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I received a letter from Tornado before she was released. She was using a different tactic, a poem, with happy memories and oh yes, then a request for $100. I haven’t heard from her, it’s been a week since she got out. I have no idea what she is doing.</p><p>Poof, gone. Huh.</p><p>Our kids are manipulative and clever. They know how to get to the core of us with their words, keep us second guessing ourselves and operating from despair.</p><p>It is hard to make good decisions, from that base. On my walk this morning I was pondering about my two and the place of pain I hit at my lowest point on this journey. For sure, whether it be by design or happenstance they have a keen ability to elicit response, to get what they want.</p><p></p><p>I was thinking about this, Copa. I am sorry that it comes to this, but I believe you are right on point.</p><p> Funny you should write this, I was reminiscing on this very thought. That we make them beggars, as if they are incapable of self care. It is no wonder that they then feel entitled and at the same time are disrespectful and unappreciative. Stagnant.</p><p>It is hard not to cave, we are fighting every urge to make things right and good for them. </p><p>But they have to want it themselves.</p><p>They are capable.</p><p>I have to keep reminding myself of that. At the same time, build myself up to a place of balance. Then, I can make better choices. </p><p>I think it is good you directed your son to get help where he is at. It is out there. It doesn’t have to come from you. I know how hard this is, Copa. When Tornado asked to come home after hubs passed it was the hardest thing to say no. But I knew it was the right thing. She got worse here. It definitely got worse for all of us.</p><p>Stay strong.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 740490, member: 19522"] I received a letter from Tornado before she was released. She was using a different tactic, a poem, with happy memories and oh yes, then a request for $100. I haven’t heard from her, it’s been a week since she got out. I have no idea what she is doing. Poof, gone. Huh. Our kids are manipulative and clever. They know how to get to the core of us with their words, keep us second guessing ourselves and operating from despair. It is hard to make good decisions, from that base. On my walk this morning I was pondering about my two and the place of pain I hit at my lowest point on this journey. For sure, whether it be by design or happenstance they have a keen ability to elicit response, to get what they want. I was thinking about this, Copa. I am sorry that it comes to this, but I believe you are right on point. Funny you should write this, I was reminiscing on this very thought. That we make them beggars, as if they are incapable of self care. It is no wonder that they then feel entitled and at the same time are disrespectful and unappreciative. Stagnant. It is hard not to cave, we are fighting every urge to make things right and good for them. But they have to want it themselves. They are capable. I have to keep reminding myself of that. At the same time, build myself up to a place of balance. Then, I can make better choices. I think it is good you directed your son to get help where he is at. It is out there. It doesn’t have to come from you. I know how hard this is, Copa. When Tornado asked to come home after hubs passed it was the hardest thing to say no. But I knew it was the right thing. She got worse here. It definitely got worse for all of us. Stay strong. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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