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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741330" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>It is now almost a month since my last post on this thread.</p><p></p><p>My son's birthday has come and gone. I texted him. He did not respond. It is a month since I have had any contact from him at all. He wants nothing to do with me.</p><p></p><p>And I am in agony. I broached to M that we go to the Metro to look for him. M believes that even if we were to find him, that he would perceive this as my ceding. And that not one thing has changed. <em>Yes. </em>M says.<em> J feels abandoned. But if he comes back? You will feel abused. Where does it end? If J does not want to change, why are you going? To see he is okay?</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Me:<em> Not really. Because if I see him and he is not okay? Or worse than he left? There is no reassurance there for me.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I want to know he still loves me,</em> I said.</p><p></p><p>M replied: <em>If that is the reason to go look for him, don't. This can only be about seeing if he is okay, if it will make you feel content.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Nothing will make me content. Nothing will make me feel better unless my son calls me. (And my phone is in another city in a taxi. And my son will not call M.)</p><p></p><p>I am despondent. I cannot stand my sadness. This goes on and on and on and I cannot stand it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741330, member: 18958"] It is now almost a month since my last post on this thread. My son's birthday has come and gone. I texted him. He did not respond. It is a month since I have had any contact from him at all. He wants nothing to do with me. And I am in agony. I broached to M that we go to the Metro to look for him. M believes that even if we were to find him, that he would perceive this as my ceding. And that not one thing has changed. [I]Yes. [/I]M says.[I] J feels abandoned. But if he comes back? You will feel abused. Where does it end? If J does not want to change, why are you going? To see he is okay? [/I] Me:[I] Not really. Because if I see him and he is not okay? Or worse than he left? There is no reassurance there for me. I want to know he still loves me,[/I] I said. M replied: [I]If that is the reason to go look for him, don't. This can only be about seeing if he is okay, if it will make you feel content. [/I] Nothing will make me content. Nothing will make me feel better unless my son calls me. (And my phone is in another city in a taxi. And my son will not call M.) I am despondent. I cannot stand my sadness. This goes on and on and on and I cannot stand it. [/QUOTE]
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