Evidently I svck at family dynamics too. I'd have told brother in law once he got mad over said advice to not come whining to people if he thinks he won't like their feed back.
I've gotten to the point where if you're gonna whine and ask, I'm going to tell you. Don't like it, not my problem, don't give a hoot who you are.
That said............I rarely discuss siblings kids. Can't think of one of them who is NOT a difficult child, some milder than others.......but whew yeah, full blown difficult child.When I do, I tell them what I"d do in their place, not tell them what they should or shouldn't do. Then phht after that it's up to them to decide if it's advice they want to use or not.
Star made very good points. But I've had referring them to professionals backfire just as bad as any other advice. Let's face it, we've all met our fair share of awful "professionals". And far too many people rarely want to admit the problem is THAT bad Know what I mean??
He'll either listen or he won't. Either way........perhaps you won't have to listen to him constantly complaining about a situation he refuses to take steps to change.
