Hi Karen,
this may be a dumb question, but why can't you let him know how you found out all these things? Seems to me that Jill owes him no allegiance--why can't you just say, "oh, Jill told me about your conversation the other day?" Does she honestly care whether he knows she is telling you what he says? I sure wouldn't if it was my best friend. If I were Jill I would tell him, "hey, anything you tell me can and will be used against you!"
Also, if she is your bff can you not tell her that it hurts you to hear about these things? If she must hear his true confessions then maybe she could just keep them to herself.
You are being way too worried about what Jill and Bff think--get asssertive--get it out in the open! QUIT PROTECTING THEM
Okay, thanks for listening.
Jane
