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Parent Emeritus
I raised him right, right? Self blame and the pursuit of happiness.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 650848" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have nt read all the posts, but I know 1 thing. It is NOT YOUR FAULT.</p><p></p><p>You did not, at any time, not even for one day, wake up and ask yourself, "What can I do to mess up my child as bad as possible today?". You DID ask yourself how to make his life better, what you could do for him/to help him, what he needed. I know you did, because you are a good mom.</p><p></p><p>You did the best you could with what you had, and when you could do better, you did. </p><p></p><p>This means that NONE of this is your fault. It is absolutely, 100%, completely NOT YOUR FAULT. </p><p></p><p>It would be different if you abused him or tried to mess him up. Or ignored him. Since you did NONE of those things, work hard to stop blaming yourself.</p><p></p><p>Blaming yourself does nothing good and gives him excuses to not grow up and be a functional adult. It sounds like he makes enough excuses for himself - he doesn't need anyone else making them too. </p><p></p><p>Focus on enjoying your life and on setting healthy boundaries and on letting him be responsible for himself. That is absolutely the best thing you can do now. Trust me, I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 650848, member: 1233"] I have nt read all the posts, but I know 1 thing. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. You did not, at any time, not even for one day, wake up and ask yourself, "What can I do to mess up my child as bad as possible today?". You DID ask yourself how to make his life better, what you could do for him/to help him, what he needed. I know you did, because you are a good mom. You did the best you could with what you had, and when you could do better, you did. This means that NONE of this is your fault. It is absolutely, 100%, completely NOT YOUR FAULT. It would be different if you abused him or tried to mess him up. Or ignored him. Since you did NONE of those things, work hard to stop blaming yourself. Blaming yourself does nothing good and gives him excuses to not grow up and be a functional adult. It sounds like he makes enough excuses for himself - he doesn't need anyone else making them too. Focus on enjoying your life and on setting healthy boundaries and on letting him be responsible for himself. That is absolutely the best thing you can do now. Trust me, I know. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
I raised him right, right? Self blame and the pursuit of happiness.
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